The Musings of an Evil Conservative Achiever

Girth

2011-09-14T19:30:00.000-04:00

Twitter

2011-09-04T00:30:00.002-04:00

I suck at blogging anymore. I need to get back to this at some point...

Oh yeah, OSU kicked ass today, which, after this off season, was pretty fucking refreshing.

And this:

Goodbye

2011-08-09T18:15:00.003-04:00

So busy...hoping to get back to posting soon...

Until then, here's a clip of the last Iced Earth performance with Matt Barlow singing before he retires and is replaced by Stu Block.

Guns

2011-07-18T22:38:00.002-04:00

Penguins

2011-07-17T16:45:00.001-04:00

Also, I stumbleuponed across this. FTFA:

The winner of the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is Molly Ringle of Seattle, Washington. The author of one published and two soon-to-be-published novels, Molly Ringle only writes bad fiction when she fails at good fiction. She'd rather not say how often this happens. She lives in Seattle with her family, and her vices include uncalled-for moments of sarcasm, excessive consumption of Nutella, and an unladylike avidity for the raunchy films of Mel Brooks[.]

Molly Ringle is the 28th grand prize winner of the contest that that began at San Jose State University in 1982. She is also the second consecutive Washingtonian to win the contest, last year’s being David McKenzie.

Here's the sentence that won Molly the prize:

"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil."

You're welcome.

The Onion

2011-07-10T01:03:00.006-04:00

House updates and pics forthcoming...probably next weekend or so. Busy as all hell right now, as one might expect.

But in the meantime, a few random thoughts first:

So, Bloodsport happened to come on to the channel I had been watching when the previous show ended. This is an absolutely horrible movie. The acting is laughably bad, so it at least has unintentional comedy going for it, but at the same time it seems to take itself seriously which just makes you sad. And Jean Claude Van Damme has way too little clothing on at times. And no naked chicks - at least not on cable. This movie sucks.
Fuck bugs. This house is great, but the bugs are annoying. One of my cats has killed a couple grasshoppers, and I've killed like 7 or 8, inside the house since we moved in. But the gnats, mosquitos and other bitey fuckers outside are the really annoying ones. We're having the yard sprayed this week. I hope that kills a whole lot of these annoying assholes. We believe the people who lived here previously must have been hippies who didn't want to hurt the bugs. Well, fuck that shit. We're right next to a golf course, so the land is really healthy. And so, therefore, are the bugs. But their days are numbered if I have any say in the matter.
I have to mow the lawn for the first time tomorrow. That should be fun.
We had Verizon FIOS installed earlier this week and, for the most part, I'm pretty happy with it so far. We had some communication problems with customer service related to changing some of the details of the service we ordered, but the product itself has been great. The big thing that annoys me right now is that there doesn't seem to be a Page Up/Down feature on the remote so you have to scroll through the guide one channel at a time. Annoying. But, otherwise, this is much better than my last few experiences with Cox Communications.

And, also, this shit reads like it was written for The Onion. FTFA:

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), a leading advocate of shrinking entitlement spending and the architect of the plan to privatize Medicare, spent Wednesday evening sipping $350 wine with two like-minded conservative economists at the swanky Capitol Hill eatery Bistro Bis.

It was the same night reports started trickling out about President Obama pressing Congressional leaders to consider changes to Social Security and Medicare in exchange for GOP support for targeted tax increases.
The pomp and circumstance surrounding the waiter's presentation, uncorking and decanting of the pricey Pinot Noir caught the attention of another diner who had already recognized Ryan sitting with two other men nearby.
Susan Feinberg, an associate business professor at Rutgers, was at Bistro Bis celebrating her birthday with her husband that night. When she saw the label on the bottle of Jayer-Gilles 2004 Echezeaux Grand Cru Ryan's table had ordered, she quickly looked it up on the wine list and saw that it sold for an eye-popping $350, the most expensive wine in the house along with one other with the same pricetag.

Feinberg, an economist by training, was even more appalled when the table ordered a second bottle. She quickly did the math and figured out that the $700 in wine the trio consumed over the course of 90 minutes amounted to more than the entire weekly income of a couple making minimum wage.

"We were just stunned," said Feinberg, who e-mailed TPM about her encounter later the same evening. "I was an economist so I started doing the envelope calculations and quickly figured out that those two bottles of wine was more than two-income working family making minimum wage earned in a week."

She was outraged that Ryan was consuming hundreds of dollars in wine while Congress was in the midst of intense debates over whether to cut seniors' safety net, and she didn't know whether Ryan or his companions was going to pay for the wine and whether the two men were lobbyists. She snapped a few shots with her cell phone to record the wine purchase.

Feinberg knew if the men were lobbyists, or worked for a firm or company that employs lobbyists, then paying for such expensive wine would be a violation of Congressional ethics rules barring members from accepting anything of value from lobbyists.

Members can also run into trouble if they accept more than $100 per year from anyone - even a friend.

"Basically, you have a situation in which the person who bought the meal says I bought it on the basis of a personal friendship and if it's under $100, you have to show the history of the relationship and some degree of reciprocity," said Meredith McGehee of the Campaign Legal Center.
If the gift is more than $100, House rules require members to obtain written determination from the Ethics Committee on whether they can accept it or not.

After ending their meal and paying the check, Feinberg decided to give Ryan a piece of her mind. She approached the table and asked Ryan "how he could live with himself" sipping expensive wine while advocating for cuts to programs for seniors and the poor. Some verbal jousting between Feinberg and the other two men ensued. One of the two men said he had ordered the wine, was drinking it and paying for it. In hearing how much the wine cost, Ryan said only: "Is that how much it was?"

The clash became especially heated when Feinberg asked the men if they were lobbyists.

"F---- her," one of them replied and stood up in a menacing way, according to Feinberg's account. Feinberg said her husband then "puffed out his chest" in response before the manager and a waiter came over and Feinberg decided she had said her piece and it was time to leave.

Ryan does not dispute most of the details of Feinberg's account, although he told TPM the two men are economists, not lobbyists, and characterized Feinberg as "crazy" and possibly drunk. For her part, Feinberg said she believes the economist at the table who got out his seat to challenge her was the one intoxicated.

"It was my birthday, and I'd had half a bottle of great wine with dinner," she wrote in an e-mail to TPM. "I wasn't drunk, but I was certainly emboldened to speak my mind."

That's what constitutes journalism over at Talking Points Memo? Ha!

Metal Baby

2011-06-29T23:34:00.000-04:00

Yesterday

2011-06-28T20:31:00.006-04:00

So, yesterday, we bought this:

Some of the rooms could stand to be painted. And I didn't include pictures to the pink/grey bathroom upstairs or the teal/yellow bathroom in the basement that need to be torn out and redone, but otherwise it's fantastic.

Sorta excited. Sorta scared. And I can't really believe this is our first house. Hope we don't run it into the ground!

Tomorrow

2011-06-26T15:46:00.002-04:00

Is the big day. But for now, there's this:

Browser Wars

Couch

2011-06-18T22:41:00.002-04:00

Morbid Angel

2011-06-15T20:32:00.001-04:00

Rest

2011-06-12T09:46:00.002-04:00

Pryor

2011-06-07T21:55:00.010-04:00

As with the Jim Tressel era, the Terrelle Pryor era at The Ohio State University has ended. FTFA:

Terrelle Pryor's career at Ohio State, which started with so much promise and potential, came to an abrupt and scandal-ridden end.
The Ohio State quarterback announced through his attorney Tuesday that he would not play for the Buckeyes this season. He had already been suspended for the first five games for breaking NCAA rules by accepting improper benefits from the owner of a tattoo parlor.
"In the best interests of my teammates, I've made the decision to forgo my senior year of football at The Ohio State University," Pryor said in a statement issued by Columbus lawyer Larry James.
James said entering the next NFL supplemental draft is Pryor's "desire." But James acknowledged labor uncertainty could lead to consideration of the Canadian Football League or working with a personal quarterback coach first.
James said Pryor told him of the decision within the hour and that Pryor said it was "in the best interest of my teammates."
The Cleveland Plain Dealer first reported Pryor's announcement.
The NCAA is looking into all aspects of Ohio State's once-glittering program, from cash and tattoos to players, car deals for athletes and other potential violations.
Pryor's announcement comes just eight days after Buckeyes coach Jim Tressel was forced to resign for knowing about the players' improper benefits but not telling any of his superiors.
"He did not want to be a a distraction to his teammates," James said of Pryor. "This is something he came to consider after much thought."
Ohio State's athletic director, Gene Smith, quickly issued a statement wishing Pryor the best.
"We understand Terrelle's decision and wish him well in this next phase of his life," Smith said. "We hope he returns to The Ohio State University one day to finish his degree."
Luke Fickell, who will serve as Ohio State's interim head coach in place of Tressel this fall, found out about Pryor's decision on Tuesday night.
"I was notified this evening that Terrelle has decided to pursue a professional career," Fickell said. "I wish him the best in his pursuits."
Pryor's high school coach Ray Reitz said his former quarterback's move would "probably best for everybody."
"Terrelle can get out of the spotlight and just play football," he said. "The sad part is, as a player, he was tremendous. It's just that all this will be a part of his legacy. It's a shame. I hope he gets a shot at quarterback in the NFL so he can prove people wrong. I think NFL teams want to win so I don't think they'll hold this too much against him."
Pryor came to Ohio State on March 19, 2007, from Jeannette, Pa., as the most acclaimed high school quarterback prospect in the country. His career will be remembered in his adoptive home state for his three victories in as many tries against archrival Michigan, and victories in the Rose and Allstate Sugar Bowl.
But it will also be remembered for a series of missteps and controversies that seemed to follow the 6-foot-6, 233-pound physical specimen wherever he went and no matter what he said.
In the midst of an NCAA inspection into his cars, he drove a sports car to practice on the day that Tressel resigned. Even when it was shown that his mother had legally bought the car, which is four years old, many fans were angry. The fact that he was driving it made it headline news across the state and around the Big Ten.
On the field, Pryor was very good. He had a 31-4 record as a starter (starting one bowl game as a wide receiver), rushed for an Ohio State-record for a quarterback 2,164 yards and passed for 6,177 yards. He was often at his best in big games, holding the school record with seven games with at least 300 yards of total offense and 22 games with at least 200.
But there were other moments that kept him from ever becoming a fan favorite.
He wore "Vick" on an eyeblack patch in honor of Michael Vick in 2009, after the NFL quarterback had been involved in a dogfighting operation. Pryor then infuriated many by saying, "Not everybody's the perfect person in the world. I mean, everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever. I think that people need a second chance."
After Wisconsin beat the Buckeyes in October, handing them their only loss last season, Pryor petulantly said that Ohio State could beat the Badgers nine out of 10 times.
He also has called former Ohio State quarterback and current ESPN college football analyst Kirk Herbstreit "a fake Buckeye" for questioning Pryor's emotional sideline behavior.
Few NFL draft experts consider Pryor to be a ready-for-the-NFL quarterback. With his speed and size, he might be better cut out as a big wide receiver in the mold of Plaxico Burress.
Despite the NFL labor problems, a supplemental draft could still be held this summer, although no one has yet committed to entering it. Former Ohio State star Cris Carter went that route after he lost his senior season due to NCAA infractions involving an agent and he went on to a stellar career as one of the best receivers in NFL history.
Ohio State will go before the NCAA's committee on infractions on Aug. 12. With Tressel no longer with the program, along with Pryor who has been the most visible of those who were suspended, it was no surprise that Buckeyes fans expressed relief at Pryor's surprise announcement.
With Pryor no longer a college football player, he is no longer obligated to meet with the NCAA.
James would not comment on whether Pryor would continue to cooperate with the NCAA.
James said that Pryor was reflective when he made the decision to quit college football.
"You know how sometimes you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and then something like this takes a little bit off," James said. "He's still only 21."

While I'm not happy to see him go, I'm not sad to see him leave either, especially with his role in Tressel's resignation. I do think it's best for everyone.

Good bye, Terrelle. Thanks for the memories. But thanks also for finally doing the right thing in this whole mess.

Go Bucks. And I'm ready for September to finally get here.

[Edit (11:02 p.m.):] I just added the strikethrough seen above. I tried to be magnanimous even though I never wanted to see Pryor play for the Buckeyes again after Tressel resigned, but...

Fuck you, Terrelle Pryor.

Terrelle Pryor, who announced through his attorney Tuesday that he would bypass his senior season at Ohio State, made thousands of dollars autographing memorabilia in 2009-10, a former friend who says he witnessed the transactions has told "Outside the Lines."
The signings for cash, which would be a violation of NCAA rules, occurred a minimum of 35 to 40 times, netting Pryor anywhere from $20,000 to $40,000 that year, the former friend says. The source spoke to ESPN under the condition that his face not be aired on TV and that his name not be published.
He said Pryor was paid $500 to $1,000 each time he signed mini football helmets and other gear for a Columbus businessman and freelance photographer, Dennis Talbott. Talbott twice denied to ESPN that he ever paid Pryor or any other active Buckeye athlete to sign memorabilia. He said last week he has only worked with former players to set up signings. On Tuesday evening, he declined to comment whether he had ever operated a sports memorabilia business and said he was not an Ohio State booster.
Pryor's former friend also told "Outside the Lines" that the player often received preferential treatment in the Columbus community, receiving thousands of dollars in free food at local restaurants and convenience stores, free drinks at bars and free tattoos. In addition, he said the quarterback had access to free loaner cars from local dealerships. The source said he spent nearly every day with Pryor before their relationship soured when Pryor began taking on a more "arrogant" attitude after his 2009-10 season.
He said Pryor would get the merchandise to sign from Talbott, who would "bring it to TP, and he would sign it and he would bring him cash. Dennis would give him cash." He said he witnessed the transactions occur about three to four times a week at Pryor's apartment.
The former friend said Pryor would spend his money lavishly at times, that the player had a "shoe fetish" and bought many expensive hats, belts and pieces of jewelry. He said he was particularly fond of Gucci items. ESPN independently confirmed Pryor made multiple such purchases.
Pryor's attorney, Larry James, denied the allegations against his client.

Fucking asshole.

Fickell

2011-06-01T22:40:00.003-04:00

I have an Ohio State calendar hanging on the wall in my apartment, amongst other Ohio State paraphernalia.

The picture for the Month of May is of Jim Tressel.

I'm not changing it for the rest of the year.

But Luke Fickell is Ohio State's head coach now, albeit "interim." I hope that come January we can delete "interim" from his position and not have to replace it with "former."

Eleven Warriors has me covered:

One thing is for sure, we're going to find out what kind of leadership skills [Luke Fickell] brings to the table in the face of adversity. My bet is we're going to be more than pleased. We already know he was a rising, respected star on the recruiting and assistant coach fronts and I love the fact he's from Columbus, started 50 games for the Buckeyes and by all accounts relates extremely well to the players. He feels like a scarlet and gray version of Fitzgerald. I love that.

It's also a good bet he studied what he liked about Tressel so he could incorporate into his own skill set. Typically, all this wouldn't be enough if the guy had no previous head coaching experience but I'm intrigued by the fact he gets a full season to test drive his skills for all to evaluate. If he can't handle it, fine. But if he can, I'd like to think we've found our guy. Before Tressel was hired, I was one of those guys that felt like we needed to make splash. Now, I've realized you don't need a big name to win at Ohio State. The facilities, history, tradition, track record of putting guys in the NFL and the city of Columbus do a lot of that heavy lifting for you. What you really need is a guy genuinely passionate about the school he represents that can seal the deal with top talent. Surround that guy with legit assistant coaches at a place like OSU and great things will happen.

Maybe it's partly because I'm dying for something to believe in but I believe Fickell can be the guy that takes all the anxiety out of next [ed: year?]. What about you?

Go Bucks.

Tressel

2011-05-30T10:32:00.002-04:00

Goddamnit. FTFA:

Embattled coach Jim Tressel, two months after publicly apologizing for fallout that resulted in suspensions for him and several of his players, has resigned from Ohio State.
"After meeting with university officials, we agreed that it is in the best interest of Ohio State that I resign as head football coach," Tressel said in a statement Monday morning. "The appreciation that Ellen and I have for the Buckeye Nation is immeasurable."
Assistant coach Luke Fickell, who had been named to fill in for Tressel during the first five games of the 2011 season in which he was to be suspended, will take over as the interim head coach, Ohio State said in the news release.
Tressel was entering his 11th season as head coach for the Buckeyes. He finishes with a 106-22 record at Ohio State (66-14 in the Big Ten). He won a national championship in 2002, seven Big Ten championships, including the past six, and had a 9-1 record against Michigan.
Ohio State spokesman Jim Lynch said he was unaware of any buyout or severance package.
He added that Tressel had returned from vacation Sunday night and met with athletic director Gene Smith, who then met with staff. Tressel typed his resignation and submitted it to Smith, he said.
School president E. Gordon Gee announced Tressel's departure in a letter sent to Ohio State trustees.
"As you all know, I appointed a special committee to analyze and provide advice to me regarding issues attendant to our football program," the letter said, according to The Columbus Dispatch, which first reported Tressel's decision. "In consultation with the senior leadership of the University and the senior leadership of the Board, I have been actively reviewing the matter and have accepted Coach Tressel's resignation.
"My public statement will include our common understanding that throughout all we do, we are one university with one set of standards and one overarching mission," Gee wrote in the letter, according to the Columbus newspaper. "The University's enduring public purposes and its tradition of excellence continue to guide our actions."
The news comes two weeks after Smith affirmed his support for the coach amid an ongoing NCAA investigation for rules violations.
"We look forward to refocusing the football program on doing what we do best -- representing this extraordinary university and its values on the field, in the classroom, and in life," Smith said in the statement. "We look forward to supporting Luke Fickell in his role as our football coach. We have full confidence in his ability to lead our football program."
At the Big Ten spring meetings earlier this month, Smith -- while declining to discuss any details of an ongoing NCAA investigation of Tressel -- said his outlook toward the coach's position hadn't wavered.
"Oh, definitely, no question," Smith had said. "I haven't changed, I haven't changed. But I'm not talking about the case beyond that."
Smith noted last month in an interview with The Associated Press that Tressel should have apologized at a March 8 news conference, where Tressel first acknowledged he failed to notify Ohio State officials of emails he received about some of his players receiving improper benefits.
Smith has also talked about the high legal costs Ohio State is dealing with, calling the ongoing NCAA situation "a nightmare."

"It's fair. He would have been fired anyway," said Aaron Kniffin, the car salesman who sold about 50 cars to Ohio State players and their relatives, transactions that are under scrutiny by a state agency and school officials. "You had a coach who knew about and covered up a scandal about memorabilia and tattoos."
In late March, during an almost hour-long news conference, Tressel apologized for letting people down and acknowledged that some may view him as a cheater.
Tressel also received support at the spring meetings from fellow coaches such as Michigan State's Mark Dantonio and Northwestern's Pat Fitzgerald, as well as from Nebraska athletic director Tom Osborne, a longtime friend.
"Coaches are great," Tressel said then. "They understand all the challenges everyone has. It's good to be with them."

This sucks.

Food Network

2011-05-15T01:20:00.000-04:00

Portal

2011-05-13T23:17:00.001-04:00

From Buzzfeed.

Vegan Black Metal Chef

2011-05-12T08:47:00.001-04:00

Behold: How to be metal, a pussy, and a chef all at the same time! Enjoy:

Superstitious

2011-05-04T18:56:00.006-04:00

I'm not really superstitious, but in the first 3 games I've watched the Washington Capitals while also wearing Caps memorabilia, the Caps are 0-3.

So, since tonight is Game 4 and elimination is on the line, I'm going back to not wearing Capitals clothing...let's hope it helps out.

It would be sad if tonight were the last night for the good guys, and for my hockey watching, for the season. But if they're going down, time to go down with the ship...just hopefully not tonight, if they must go home at all...

Go Caps!

Dead

2011-05-01T23:46:00.006-04:00

Osama Bin Laden is dead.

We win.

God's Gift

2011-04-28T17:16:00.003-04:00

So, this week's sign of the apocalypse is here. FTA:

St. John's coach Steve Lavin has to hope his newest recruit is as impressive on the basketball court as his name.
God's Gift Achiuwa -- a 6-foot-9 power forward and first-team juco All-American from Erie (N.Y.) Community College -- is the ninth player to commit to the Red Storm for next season. St. John's has the No. 3-ranked recruiting class, according to ESPN Insider's top 25.
The Nigerian native, whose father is a minister, chose St. John's over Washington and Cincinnati.
"I am excited to come to St. John's and New York City. I really like the coaching staff and the way St. John's plays. They are a running team and that's what I like, fast paced basketball," Achiuwa said. "I also like the winning tradition of the new coaching staff. They came into the St. John's program and turned things around in less than a year. I think that's a good indication that the program is on its way back."
Achiuwa averaged 22.3 points, 13.1 rebounds and 2.2 blocks for Erie last season and adds some much-needed size to the wing-heavy recruiting class. He will have two years of eligibility with the Red Storm.
"Gift is a talented frontline player who possesses tremendous size, strength, speed and skill," Lavin said. "He is an ideal fit for our baseline-to-baseline attacking style of play."
God's Gift (20) is the third of six children born to Eunice and Donatus Achiuwa of Port Harcourt, Nigeria. He has one older brother, Promise, and two younger brothers, God's Will and Precious. He also has one older sister, Grace, and one younger sister, Peace.

Jesus Christ.

Hypocrite

2011-04-15T22:35:00.004-04:00

I've laid off the Obama hate recently because it's just become too easy, but this shit really grinds my gears. Hopey McChangeypants: "I was against presidential signing statements before I was for them."

Motherfucker.

FTFA:

In a statement issued Friday night, President Obama took issue with some provisions in the budget bill – and in one case simply says he will not abide by it.

Last week the White House and congressional Democrats and Republicans were involved in intense negotiations over not only the size of the budget for the remainder of the FY2011 budget, and spending cuts within that budget, but also several GOP “riders,” or policy provisions attached to the bill.

One rider – Section 2262 -- de-funds certain White House adviser positions – or “czars.” The president in his signing statement declares that he will not abide by it.

“The President has well-established authority to supervise and oversee the executive branch, and to obtain advice in furtherance of this supervisory authority,” he wrote. “The President also has the prerogative to obtain advice that will assist him in carrying out his constitutional responsibilities, and do so not only from executive branch officials and employees outside the White House, but also from advisers within it. Legislative efforts that significantly impede the President's ability to exercise his supervisory and coordinating authorities or to obtain the views of the appropriate senior advisers violate the separation of powers by undermining the President's ability to exercise his constitutional responsibilities and take care that the laws be faithfully executed.”

Therefore, the president wrote, “the executive branch will construe section 2262 not to abrogate these Presidential prerogatives.”

In other words: we know what you wanted that provision to do, but we don’t think it’s constitutional, so we will interpret it differently than the way you meant it.

During his presidential campaign, then-Senator Obama was quite critical of the Bush administration’s uses of signing statements telling the Boston Globe in 2007 that the “problem” with the Bush administration “is that it has attached signing statements to legislation in an effort to change the meaning of the legislation, to avoid enforcing certain provisions of the legislation that the President does not like, and to raise implausible or dubious constitutional objections to the legislation.”

Then-Sen. Obama said he would “not use signing statements to nullify or undermine congressional instructions as enacted into law.”

The president said that no one "doubts that it is appropriate to use signing statements to protect a president's constitutional prerogatives; unfortunately, the Bush Administration has gone much further than that."

Another rider bans the use of federal funds to transfer detainees from Guantanamo to foreign countries unless certain conditions are met.

“Requiring the executive branch to certify to additional conditions would hinder the conduct of delicate negotiations with foreign countries and therefore the effort to conclude detainee transfers in accord with our national security,” the president wrote.

Another rider denies the ability of the Obama administration to prosecute Gitmo detainees in criminal court.

“The prosecution of terrorists in Federal court is a powerful tool in our efforts to protect the Nation and must be among the options available to us,” the president wrote. “Any attempt to deprive the executive branch of that tool undermines our Nation's counterterrorism efforts and has the potential to harm our national security.”

The president said in his statement he will work with Congress to repeal those provisions.

How anyone can get behind this hypocritical piece of shit anymore is beyond me. He is a petty, shallow, disingenuous prick and I can't wait to vote against him in 2012. Paul Ryan said it best when he called Obama, "basically a pyromaniac in a field of straw men." Our president is neither serious or worthy of respect. Fuck him.

WrestleMania

2011-04-03T19:04:00.081-04:00

It's Wrestlemania 27. And that means it's time for a running diary! My first wrestling PPV in over 5 years. The wife is less than pleased.

7:03 p.m. And we're under way from Atlanta, Georgia. Holy shit, there's gotta be 70,000 people in the Georgia Dome for WrestleMania 27!

7:04 p.m. He's here! The Rock's entrance takes 4 minutes.

7:07 p.m. The Rock is in the ring.

You know what's coming: "Finally, The Rock has come back to Atlanta!"

"And finally, The Rock has come back to Wrestlemania!"

And finally, The Rock is back in a ridiculous jogging suit, sweating his nuts off.

Predictably, The Rock is not happy with John Cena and he hates Fruity Pebbles.

Oooh, The Rock is not cooking alone tonight, he's cooking with The People.

7:15 p.m. Wrestlemania hype video. Really, we're gonna go close to 20 minutes without a match?

I mean, I know Vince McMahon hates the word "wrestling," but I didn't know he hated the act too.

7:18 p.m. Alright, we're kicking off the in-ring action with a bang:

Match 1: Alberto Del Rio with Brodus Clay vs. Edge (c) with Christian for the World Heavyweight Title

Jerry Lawler and Josh Matthews are ringside to call the action. Michael Cole is also there in some protective cage, reminds me of the Pope mobile. And thankfully, the Spanish announcers' are present as well. Odds the Spanish announcers' table gets destroyed throughout the night: 3:2. I'll take affirmative.

Although Del Rio has his own Spanish ring announcer introduce him on his way, formal ring intros are done with both men in the ring. Here we go!

7:23 p.m. The first match is finally...and the Evil Conservative Achiever means finally...underway.

7:27 p.m. Del Rio controls the early action in his first WrestleMania ever. It's only a matter of time before Christian and Brodus Clay become involved in the festivities...

7:28 p.m. Oh no! Del Rio dives at Edge and flies through ropes to the outside, turning the tide. Edge responds with a flip over the top rope to Del Rio on the floor.

7:29 p.m. Arm drag off the top rope has Del Rio, in his gold trunks, back in control. Edge answer with a spinning back kick to the head after an irish whip. Big boot by Edge.

By the way, Brodus Clay is an ugly motherfucker and his hair is cut unevenly.

7:31 p.m. Edge with an "Edgesaw" (who knew?) for a 2 count. Del Rio reverses a roll into an arm bar. Edge reaches the ropes but he was in trouble.

7:32 p.m. Holy shit! Del Rio with a Ghettoblaster on Edge while he was on the top ropes. Crazy.

Clay and Christian get into it on the outside.

7:33 p.m. Edge with a DDT on Del Rio. The crowd is on its feet! Edge misses a spear and Del Rio slaps on a modified armbar after some interference from Clay.

Edge battles out and slaps on a modified version of Sting's Scorpion Deathlock. Christian takes out Clay on the outside to ensure no more interference.

Del Rio then fights his way out but Edge hits the spear for the 3 count!

Winner: Edge (c) to retain the World Heavyweight Championship!

I'd give that one 2 1/2 stars out of 4.

Post-match, Edge attacks Del Rio's Rolls Royce, kicking the door and dropping and elbow on the hood. Christian pulls out a tire iron and hands it to Edge who vandalizes the paint job and the windows. That wasn't very nice.

Match 2: Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Unfortunately or maybe fortunately, the beginning of this match coincides with dinner time. And my fucking cable started going all wonky with lots of static. Annoying.

After Rhodes removes Mysterio's knee brace, Mysterio removes Rhodes' protective mask. Mysterio puts the hard protective mask on and uses it against Rhodes. The ref takes the mask away and Rhodes slams Mysterio's in the head with the knee brace which had previously been thrown out of the ring. Rhodes hits his finisher and gets the pin.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

I was only semi-watching, but that match was nothing special. 2 out of 4 stars.

Snoop Dogg is in the house. He and Teddy Long are backstage getting high or something in some silly backstage skit. The Bella Twins make an appearance and no red-blooded male can complain about that.

Match 3: Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel and Wade Barrett vs. Big Show, Kane, Santino Marella and Kofi Kingston

Santino is ridiculous, and funny, but mainly ridiculous. You have to love his unibrow. Kofi Kingston loves fluorescent green. Meh.

8:06 p.m. And this 8 man tag is underway with Santino in there with Heath Slater to start off. This one quickly descends into chaos with all 8 men battling. Big Show earns the quick pin at 8:08 p.m.

Winners: Big Show, Kane, Santino Marella and Kofi Kingston

1 star.

Wow. That was all about getting 8 guys who they have no ideas for onto the show.

Match 4: Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

8:16 p.m. This could be an excellent match. Following a lengthy hype video for this match, CM Punk makes his way to the ring. He's a straight edge douche, so the default is rooting for Orton, who is also a douche, but at least he's not sXe. Both may be douches, but both can wrestle.

Orton begins his entrance. It's been a while since I watched wrestling, but Orton looks small. Getting off the roids will do that for you. Anxious to see what HHH looks like later tonight.

8:21 p.m. Orton is in control early, with the story being that he's working on a bad wheel. His right knee is heavily bandaged. Things head to the outside and Punk kicks the ring stairs into Orton's bad knee. That son of a bitch.

Cross body by Punk from the top rope ends in a 2 count. Orton selling the knee injury as Punk mocks him. After Punk "hyperextends" Orton's knee with a drop, Matthews says, "This is definitely the beginning of the end." which means in wrestling, "This is definitely not the beginning of the end."

After Punk hands Orton up on the turnbuckle, stands on his bad knee and drops his boots onto Orton's face, Orton kicks out late before the 3.

Orton counters Punks finisher into an attempt at his own, but Punk counters into a head kick. Orton again kicks out at 2.

8:28 p.m. Orton posts Punk on the turnbuckle. As Punk commiserates with his balls, Orton works for a superplex. And he hits it! Orton with the cover and Punk kicks out at 2.

Punk rings Orton's knee into the corner post from the outside and slaps on a leg lock on Orton around the post.

Haha. Orton pretends to bite the post due to the pain.

Back in the ring, Punk slaps a leg lock on Orton and punches away at the knee. Orton fights out and is no longer selling the knee injury. Like it didn't happen. You gotta love wrestling.

Punk fights back and sweeps Orton at the knee. Punk grabs Orton in the Anaconda Device or something like that and Orton reaches the ropes. The ref breaks the hold.

This is a pretty methodical, but good, match, notwithstanding the knee injury that comes and goes.

Orton with a modified DDT through the ring ropes and he then starts slapping the mat.

HAHAHA! Orton goes for his finisher, which is basically a kick to the head of a downed opponent (very sporting, I know) and his knee finally gives out. Wrestling never changes.

8:36 p.m. Orton springs up and goes for his finisher, the RKO, and Punk gets out of the way.

Orton struggles back to his feet, goes up top and leaps into a flying RKO from Orton.

Great finishing maneuver. Very good match. Not 4 stars, but very good.

Winner: Randy Orton.

3 stars out of 4.

Backstage, John Cena's biggest fan is in the building! It's Pee-Wee Herman!

Pee-Wee, The Rock and Mean Gene Okerlund (in purple and yellow Cena gear) in a fairly funny skit.

Where else can you see Pee-Wee and a 65 year old white man in clothes that would make a rapper proud?

All the Hall of Fame inductees are brought out. Some guy with a "BEN" sign is in the crowd. I'm there!

Booker T comes out to the ring to announce the next match.

And out comes JR!!!

Jim Ross! Jim Ross is in the building! Yay!

Match 5: Jerry "The King" Lawler vs. Michael Cole with Jack Swagger, with Special Referee: Steve Austin

If this match doesn't result in every single participant except Lawler (and maybe even him) getting Stunners and being covered in beer, I'll eat my hat.

8:48 p.m. Michael Cole with a long, meandering speech making fun of Lawler and JR. Fuck you, Michael Cole. Jim Ross is the man.

Wow. Cole's wrestling singlet is fucking awesome. It's orange, ill-fitting and ridiculous.

The glass breaks and in comes Stone Cold on an ATV almost running over Jack Swagger and Michael Cole!

Ah, Jim Ross is announcing again! That's fun.

Finally, The King is on the way to the ring looking as ridiculous as ever, complete with a crown.

This match will be light on talent, but should be high on entertainment.

8:55 p.m. Cole refuses to get in the ring, so Stone Cold rings the bell anyway.

Lawler throws Swagger aside and Cole begs off in his Pope protection booth.

8:57 p.m. Lawler attacks Cole in the booth and climbs in. Our first classic JR reference: "Cole tried to run like a scalded dog!"

Lawler throws Cole in the ring and gets attacked by Swagger on the outside. Cole distracts Austin while Swagger continues to attack Lawler on the outside.

Wow. No one showed Cole how to do anything. Lawler's acting job on this is Oscar-worthy.

This would be horrible if it weren't so ridiculous. Lawler is being forced to sell non-offense from Cole, but everyone knows what's coming.

Finally, Cole does a "move" in slapping on an ankle lock. Lawler fighting it...fighting it...flips over and counters by kicking Cole into the corner.

Lawler stomping on Cole in the corner. JR, with some prompting from Booker T, points out he is "stomping a mudhole" in Cole.

Swagger tries to throw in the towel, climbs in the ring and his hit with a Stone Cold Stunner!

Things are starting to pick up...

Cole gets into a shoving match with Austin before Lawler begins dropping right hand after right hand on Cole.

Holy shit! The King hits a drop kick on Cole!

Let me repeat that. The King hits a drop kick on Cole.

Lawler drops a right hand on Cole from the 2nd rope, gets a 2 count and pulls Cole up, stopping the count.

Lawler then slaps on an ankle lock of his own and Cole taps for 30 seconds before Austin finally calls for the bell. Swagger carries Cole out of the arena while Austin and Lawler celebrate with Steveweisers!

Winner: Jerry "The King" Lawler

Booker T hits the ring and does a spinerooni in celebration. Austin gives him a Steveweiser and hits the Stunner on Booker T!

Haha. JR calls Austin the "unpredictable rattlesnake." No, that was about as predictable as you can get.

The Raw GM emails in to the arena and Matthews reads the email which states that due to Austin's interference, Lawler is disqualified and Cole is the winner.

Austin has Lawler drag Matthews into the ring and in a classic example of shooting the messenger, Austin stuns Matthews and takes a few Steveweisers for the road on his ATV.

Adjusted Winner: Michael Cole

1/2 star out of 4 but that match was never about being a good match, it was about getting Stone Cold onto the show and setting up JR announcing the rest of the night for the main matches.

This sets things up for JR to announce the remainder of the show, which is as it should be. And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so.

Match 6: Triple H vs. The Undertaker in a No Holds Barred Match - The Undertaker's 18-0 streak/record at WrestleMania is on the line!

9:23 p.m. Triple H comes out to a ridiculous introduction including a bunch of people carrying shields to Metallica's For Whom the Bell Tolls before swapping to his standard Motorhead intro song.

Alright, Triple H looks like he's still on the roids. It's good to be married to the boss's daughter.

9:27 p.m. The Dead Man's bells chime and Johnny Cash's tunes accompany The Undertaker to the ring.

9:32 p.m. And the match is underway. The 18-0 streak is on the line!

9:33 p.m. The Undertaker begins to disassemble the Spanish announcers' table before getting tackled through Michael Cole's Pope protection cube. The Spanish announcers' table is still in place...

9:37 p.m. Triple H tries to give The Undertaker a Pedigree on the regular announcers table before The Undertaker reverses into a back body drop to the floor. That had to hurt. Yes, wrestling is "fake," but that had to hurt.

9:38 p.m. The Undertaker launches over the top rope at Triple H on the floor but doesn't quite completely clear the ropes, landing short. Ouch again.

The ring steps are set up in front of the Spanish announcers table and Triple H slams The Phenom through the table. Knew that was coming at some point!

Chokeslam by The Undertaker and HHH kicks out at 2!

After a series of reversals, Triple H hits a spinebuster for a 2 count.

The Game grabs a chair ringside and brings it into the ring.

The Undertaker takes the chair away and slams it over Triple H's back. HHH battles back and hits the Pedigree. 2 count and The Undertaker kicks out!

Triple H sets up The Undertaker in the corner but gets reversed into The Last Ride. 2 count and The Game kicks out.

Uh oh. The Undertaker calls for the Tombstone...and hits it...but HHH kicks out!

The Undertaker is incredulous!

The Undertaker sets up the chair for a Tombstone on the chair but Triple H hits a DDT on the chair instead. Both men are laid out.

JR points out that both are looking for their "vertical base" as they both struggle to their feet.

C'mon, Undertaker, don't let this asshole break your streak...

9:51 p.m. Both men reach their feet and Triple H hits the Pedigree for a loooooong 2 count. The streak is alive!

9:52 p.m. Another Pedigree and another kick out!

9:53 p.m. Triple H beats on The Undertaker with the steel chair and orders him to "Stay down!"

9:55 p.m. Triple H slams the steel chair into The Undertaker's face flattening him out but Triple H makes no attempt to cover The Dead Man.

9:56 p.m. Triple H implores The Undertaker to "Stay down! Just die! What's wrong with you?!"

9:57 p.m. The Undertaker struggles back to his feet and beckons Triple H on...Triple H does the throat slash and hits The Tombstone on The Undertaker...

BUT THE UNDERTAKER KICKS OUT AT 2!!!

Triple H scoots away, frustrated at being unable to finish The Dead Man! Disbelief on the face of The Game.

9:59 p.m. Triple H goes outside and looks for his iconic sledgehammer from beneath the ring.

Triple H drags The Undertaker back into the ring before being placed in a triangle choke by the Undertaker! The sledgehammer is lost in the scuffle.

Triple H fighting off the choke but his body starts to go limp. He reaches for and grasps the sledgehammer before his arm goes limp again and he drops it!

10:02 p.m. Finally, Triple H taps out!!

The Undertaker moves to 19-0 at WresleMania!

Winner: The Undertaker

Both men remain collapsed on the mat. A very, very good match, but not great. 3 out of 4 stars.

I thought for sure that Shawn Michaels was going to become involved in that one somehow.

Both men continue to sell their injuries, with The Undertaker collapsing to the floor outside the ring as Triple H looks on.

The Undertaker's music finishes with him still laying on the floor at ringside as the ref and a single medic look on/attend to him. A stretcher/cart is brought to ringside to help him out of the arena.

Match 7: John Morrison, Trish Stratus and Snooki vs. Dolph Ziggler, Layla and Michelle McCool

Here comes the T&A (minus Snooki). Yay, Trish!

Trish comes out with brown hair. Nice! Nice boobs too!

Ugh. And Snooki comes out. Dumb.

10:16 p.m. Finally, this mixed tag is underway. Snooki slaps Dolph Ziggler. and we start off with Michelle McCool v. Trish. The ladies go to the top rope, with Trish showing off some nice ass cleavge before they spill to the floor. That looked dangerous.

Trish with a splash on both members of LayCool on the outside. Michelle McCool tries to kick Trish, misses, and hammers Layla.

The men then become involved briefly with Morrison taking Ziggler out.

Trish then tags in Snooki who does a cartwheel/backflip into a handspring elbow. Wow. Didn't see that coming. Snooki then hits a cartwheel splash onto McCool for the pin.

Winners: John Morrison, Trish Stratus and Snooki

1 star.

Live Attendance is announced at 71,617. Impressive.

Match 8: John Cena vs. The Miz (c) for the WWE Championship

10:25 p.m. After a hype video, the Champ makes his way to the ring first. That's fucking stupid. Cleveland's own, The Miz comes out with his boyfriend, Alex Riley.

Funny story: SallyMonkeys and I "met," meaning said Hi to The Miz at the Mushroomhead concert in Cleveland in November. We then witnessed a bunch of his meathead friends take off their shirts and stomp around in the mosh pit. Douchebags. The Miz was gracious enough, and clearly didn't want to be the center of attention, but he was a good sport about it.

10:28 p.m. After The Miz reaches the ring, a fucking gospel choir is now on stage to help with John Cena's musical introduction. Ugh. Cena sucks.

10:33 p.m. Cena finally makes his way to the ring. They better hurry up if they want to get in Cena's post-match confrontation with The Rock.

10:34 p.m. Formal ring introductions are completed.

JR reminds us that John Cena has never lost at WrestleMania in a singles match. He is 8-0 in such matches. Hopefully that streak ends tonight.

10:36 p.m. The match is finally under way.

Cena controls the early going. The Miz takes advantage of a ref breakup to take control and stomp on Cena in the corner as a fan in an orange Cleveland Cavs jersey in the front row cheers him on.

JR mentions his admiration for Cena's "government mule" like toughness in another classic JR reference. Good times.

The Miz continues to control the somewhat methodical action before telegraphing a charge into the corner. Cena bolts and The Miz hits the turnbuckle. Cena briefly takes control before The Miz kicks out of a pin attempt and kicks Cena down.

The Miz measure Cena for a big boot when the wannabe rapper turns around. 2 count and Cena kicks out.

10:42 p.m. A weak Cena sucks chant starts.

Things moving sorta slowly. The crowd is now fairly quiet.

The Miz attempts a full nelson before Cena fights back. Cena connects off the ropes and slams The Miz. A 5-knuckle shuffle lands before The Miz counters an attitude adjustment with a DDT for a 2 count.

The Miz hits a modified kneebreaker for another 2 count.

Cena counters The Miz and slaps on an STF(U). The Miz reaches the ropes.

Riley distracts Cena as The Miz lands his finisher but Cena kicks out at 2.

The Miz measures Cena for his finisher again but gets thrown into the referee for our first ref bump of the evening. Cena lands the Attitude Adjustment but the ref is down and cannot count. As Cena tries to wake the ref, Alex Riley is in the ring and hits Cena in the head with a briefcase. The Miz makes the cover and Cena kicks out at 2.

Riley now distracts the ref and The Miz grabs the briefcase. He swings and misses Cena and hits Riley on the ring apron. Cena with another Attitude Adjustment and The Miz kicks out at 2!

The crowd finally is starting to get into it.

On the outside, Cena hits The Miz with a clothesline over the barricade on the outside and into the crowd. Cena then leaps over the barricade onto The Miz and both men are down.

The referee counts both men out and declares a double countout. The Miz retains the title on the double countout.

Winner: The Miz

This cannot end this way...

10:52 p.m. The Rock's music hits and he runs to the ring.

As the Rock reaches the ring, the Raw GM's computer dings with an email.

The Rock consults the computer. "As the Raw General Manager, I think..." "It doesn't matter what you think!" as The Rock throws the laptop to the floor.

As the host, The Rock decrees that there is no way the match is over. He orders the match restarted with No DQ, No countouts, etc.

10:55 p.m. Cena throws The Miz back into the ring and tries for the Attitude Adjustment but The Miz bails. The Rock then hits the Rock Bottom on Cena! The Miz slides in and pins Cena!

Haha!!!

The Miz celebrates in the ring as The Rock looks on. The Rock jumps into the ring and attacks The Miz, "laying the smack down," in JR's terms.

Spinebuster from the Rock on The Miz and he's got it set up...

The People's Elbow is dropped on The Miz as The Rock ascends the turnbuckle.

Adjusted Winner: The Miz (c) to retain the WWE Championship!

2 1/2 stars.

Well, the fans got what they wanted, but that was a less than perfect ending to the event. It made both main event wrestlers looks somewhat weak at the expense of The Rock, but that's what he was there for.

Post-script: Not a bad show at all. I enjoyed it. It wasn't the type of show that would get me to return to being a weekly customer of WWE's shows/products, but I was entertained for the night. The ending could have been stronger, but I cannot complain. There were no absolutely great matches. I may have slightly underrated the HHH-Undertaker match, but I'd have to watch it again to make sure.

iwrestledabearonce

2011-03-27T14:15:00.001-04:00

This is probably the weirdest music video I've ever seen:

Say "Hi," to Mr. Belding.

Arsonists

2011-03-24T22:18:00.001-04:00

Tresselgate

2011-03-18T01:07:00.003-04:00

Hopefully, this is the end of it. Well, it won't be the end of it because for at least 5 games next season, the Buckeyes will be without 5 of their best players and their head coach, but it would be nice if this punishment will be the end of the "scandal." FTFA:

Now that the NCAA has finalized its ruling that five Ohio State football players who took improper benefits are suspended for the first five games of the 2011 season, Buckeyes coach Jim Tressel says he wants the same punishment.
On Thursday night, the NCAA denied Ohio State's appeal on behalf of the players, including star quarterback Terrelle Pryor, reasserting that they must sit out the first five games this fall for selling autographed memorabilia and receiving discounted tattoos.
Tressel had been handed a two-game suspension in a separate investigation by Ohio State after it was discovered he had not notified the NCAA, his Ohio State bosses or the school's compliance department that he was aware for more than nine months -- including throughout his team's 12-1 season in 2010 -- of the players' improper benefits.
"Throughout this entire situation, my players and I have committed ourselves to facing our mistakes and growing from them; we can only successfully do this together," he said in a statement. "I spoke with athletic director [Gene] Smith, and our student-athletes involved, and told them that my mistakes need to share the same game sanctions."
Ohio State had learned of Tressel's knowledge of his players' NCAA violations while preparing a seven-page appeal to the NCAA of the players' suspensions. On March 8, the university announced Tressel would sit out the first two games of the 2011 season.
But before the NCAA could rule on his punishment, he added three games to his penalty.
"Coach Tressel has requested that he sit out the first five games of the 2011 season. I have accepted his request and we are taking action to notify the NCAA," Smith said in a statement. He declined further comment.
The NCAA announced the decision on Thursday night -- during the midst of the first day of men's basketball tournament. The football news may upstage the basketball team's NCAA tournament opener. The Buckeyes are the No. 1 overall seed in the tournament and will play Texas-San Antonio in the second round in Cleveland on Friday.
Pryor, along with starting offensive lineman Mike Adams, leading rusher Daniel Herron, first-team receiver DeVier Posey and backup defensive lineman Solomon Thomas, acknowledged they sold rings, trophies and apparel in 2009.
In addition to sitting out the first five games against Akron, Toledo, the University of Miami, Colorado and Michigan State, they also must repay to charity the equivalent of the benefits they received, ranging from $1,000 to $2,500.
"Like my players, I am very sorry for the mistakes I made," Tressel said in the statement. "I request of the university that my sanctions now include five games so that the players and I can handle this adversity together."
Ohio State disclosed the proposed penalties against six football players (another was assessed only a one-game suspension) in December. But the NCAA permitted all to play in the Buckeyes' 31-26 victory over Arkansas in the Sugar Bowl.
Tressel had repeatedly told investigators that he knew nothing about the players' violations. His contract stipulates that he must disclose any potential violations or could be fired.
Yet he signed an NCAA disclosure form last September that he was unaware of any violations -- even though he had exchanged e-mails in April and June with a Columbus lawyer who told him of his players' relationship with a Columbus tattoo-parlor owner and of the benefits the players had received.
Tressel has said he didn't tell anyone because he felt bound by confidentiality, since the tattoo-parlor owner was the subject of a federal drug-trafficking investigation. The 11th-year coach of the Buckeyes said he was concerned for his players' safety, and said he never even considered that the players' acceptance of the improper benefits might affect their eligibility.
In addition to the original two-game suspension, Ohio State also said Tressel must pay a fine of $250,000 of his estimated annual salary of $3.5 million, must attend a compliance seminar, will receive a public reprimand and must apologize for his actions.
In several speaking engagements in the past week in front of supportive fans -- at most of his appearances he was met with a standing ovation -- Tressel has said he regrets his actions and has apologized for embarrassing the university.
There is no timeline for any additional actions by the NCAA regarding Tressel. Although, with the appeal being denied, the penalty for the players is now finalized.
The NCAA could vacate the 2010 season because Tressel knowingly used ineligible players.

That last sentence is absolute bullshit. The NCAA ruled on the players' suspensions BEFORE the Bowl Game and ruled them eligible. If they were eligible for the Bowl Game, they couldn't have been "ineligible" for the regular season, so vacating the 2010 season would have no justification.

The NCAA is a joke. So is the Associated Press who printed that last sentence.

Stu

2011-03-16T20:20:00.002-04:00

Well, that didn't take long. FTFA:

American power metal veterans Iced Earth has announced that Stu Block, the lead vocalist of Into Eternity, has been recruited as the band's new lead singer, replacing Matt Barlow, who will be leaving the band after Iced Earth finishes touring Europe this Summer.
According to leader Jon Schaffer, Robert Kampf, CEO of Century Media, early on suggested Block, whose band Into Eternity was previously on the CM label. That reminded Schaffer of one night in September, 2008, when Into Eternity opened for Iced Earth.
"Iced Earth was backstage waiting to go on,” said Schaffer. “We heard one of Stu’s incredible wails. I remember turning to Matt and saying, ‘Damn, that dude has serious range.'"
So while Iced Earth’s management team sifted through the growing number of prospective vocalists, Schaffer got in touch with Block.

After several phone conversations with the then-prospective Iced Earth vocalist, Schaffer asked his manager to e-mail Block several key Iced Earth songs, with the vocals stripped. Block went into his studio and recorded himself singing, then sent the files back to the team.
The result landed Block an intense two days at Schaffer’s studio where the two musicians hit it off.
"I felt a lot of chemistry between us, we knocked out a couple of great original pieces of music in no time” said Schaffer. “He’s very good at coming up with catchy melodies, and will help with lyrical duties as well. There’s no doubt Stu has an amazing vocal range and a lot of energy, but he also has the touring experience, which is a big plus for our plans of performing in all corners of the world."
In addition, Schaffer said Block has what Iced Earth needs in a front man: "stage presence that includes high energy, passion, and focused rage."
"Stu is charismatic and understands the depth and varying emotions in Iced Earth’s music,” said Schaffer. "So he will embody not only the emotion of our songs, but he will be able to perform them in a dynamic way. I believe fans are in for some incredible records and live shows in the coming years."
New Iced Earth vocalist Stu Block concurs: "Iced Earth fans are wonderful, wonderful people,” he said. “The music is so passionate. So they’re passionate, and very loyal to the band. I am, too. I’m a huge fan of Iced Earth myself. So I share that same passion, and I will show it on stage. I think the fans are really going to dig it."
Block continues: "It’s a huge honor to be doing this, to be part of this team,” he said. “It’s a dream come true, for sure."
Schaffer is totally stoked. "This is a new beginning,” he said. “It’s game-on time. Iced Earth is going to record and tour like it never has before. The band is really amped-up and ready to hit the ground running in November."

Still sad to see Barlow leave (again), but excited to see how Stu Block turns out.

Here's some clips from Stu Block with Into Eternity:

MM

2011-03-15T19:21:00.000-04:00

Yep.

Bitter

2011-03-08T22:46:00.003-05:00

Best song ever.

Fuckles.

Barlow

2011-03-03T18:27:00.002-05:00

Some sad news on the Iced Earth front. FTFA:

After returning to the band in 2007 following high demand from fans, singer Matt Barlow has announced that he will be leaving Iced Earth after their summer tour, citing family committment and the toll of touring as a result. An emotional message from Barlow reads as follows:
"Let me begin by saying how much of an honor it has been to share my time in Iced Earth with Jon and the guys…and with all of you! Since my return to the band in 2007, it has truly been extraordinary. I have had the opportunity to travel the world and see old friends and meet new ones. Though we had originally thought that the Iced Earth touring schedule would be very limited, we were able to play our fair share of concerts.
"During that time we were also able to have a live DVD produced (the forthcoming Festivals of the Wicked). However, due to the rapidly changing music industry, it has become increasingly clear to recording artists that the only way to keep a band viable and to truly reach its potential is through live performances. That means that a band must reach out to new regions of the globe and become pioneers for their own livelihood. Since 2007, Jon and I have always had the best intentions for the future of Iced Earth, and we still do. However, given the band’s projected touring schedule, Iced Earth’s future and mine must now take separate paths.
"On my departure from Iced Earth in 2003, I made a commitment to my wife and to the idea that we would start, and raise, our family together. Two years later, my first child was born and two years after that, my second. My youngest son was born about a week before Jon asked me to return to Iced Earth. It was a very exciting and emotional time for all of us, but we were all clear on our intentions. It is apparent to us now that regardless of our belief at that time, time can change an intended outcome. In this instance, I hope that change will not be regarded as a bad thing, but rather as a necessary part of evolution.

"Jon and the band must venture into new realms to continue to grow Iced Earth. I commend him for his ideals and wish nothing but to share in his vision. I know that this is not the last time Jon and I will work together, but it will be my last endeavor with Iced Earth. Iced Earth is a name and force of its own. It has been very good to me and has allowed me to live a dream that others would give most anything for. I have been truly blessed to share this experience with everyone. I will continue to support Jon and Iced Earth in every way. I will also continue to create and perform in my own capacity.
"These next months will prove to be a very emotional time for me. I am extremely happy to be able to share the experience with Jon, Brent, Freddie, Troy and the Iced Earth family. I am proud to know them and honored that they consider me their friend. It is going to be phenomenal to share the love of this music during several summer festivals and I know that it will be a time we will never forget.
"Please consider all that I have brought forth and all of Jon’s offerings before passing judgment on the future of Iced Earth. This band has always strived to give its listeners the very best and I know that Jon, as always, will continue to lead that charge.
"To Iced Earth and all of you…I wish you the very best!!!"
Founding member and guitarist Jon Schaffer has reponded to Barlow's announcement with the following retort:
"I knew Matt wrestled with this for a long, long time,” said Schaffer. “It wasn’t an easy decision for him. But I love him dearly and I can’t fault his reasons.”
Schaffer continued: "Matt is one of the most sincere people I know, and one of the most talented. His departure deeply saddens me, but I hope all fans of Iced Earth will cut him some slack. I wish Matt well, respect him greatly, and I ask everyone else to do the same."

Sucks.

For one of my favorite bands, Matt Barlow's voice was perfect for the style of music they play. The last replacement, Tim "Ripper" Owens, was a solid stand-in but couldn't quite fill Barlow's shoes entirely. Who knows who can really. The first album with Owens, The Glorious Burden, is a favorite of mine, but you can tell that Barlow's voice just fit better. I've had the pleasure of seeing Iced Earth live with both Owens and Barlow as the frontman and while both were great, it's clear that Barlow would get the nod. It'll be interesting to see who is brought in to replace him.

In other news, this is what being from Shittsburgh will get you:

Police say a 2-year-old boy was found wandering on the streets of Charleroi.
The toddler had no shoes or jacket when a passer-by noticed him walking into the street as a car approached.

Investigators say they went door-to-door and found the people who were supposed to be watching the child.

The boy's mother told police she'd left the boy and a 4-month-old girl in the care of two others while she attended parenting classes. She is not charged but police say endangerment charges are pending against her boyfriend's father and sister.

Both children were taken into protective custody.

And in other, other news, and like I've always said, odds are your shopping cart is covered in poop. FTFA:

A University of Arizona researcher says you may want to grab one of those disinfectant wipes right before you grab a grocery cart.
Professor Charles Gerba, the lead researcher, swabbed the handles of 85 carts in four states for bacterial contamination.

Gerba says 72% of the carts had a positive marker for fecal bacteria. When they examined some of the samples, they found Escherichia coli, also known as E. coli, on half of them.

Researchers say they actually found more fecal bacteria on grocery cart handles than you would typically find in a bathroom, mainly because bathrooms are disinfected more often than shopping carts.
...
Gerba also says you should pay attention to what you put in reusable shopping bags. Make sure your meats and veggies are wrapped because bags that are not washed on a regular basis can become a what he called a "bacterial swamp."

And there we have it.

P.S. I support Scott Walker. Fuck public unions.

Long, Stabby Thing

2011-02-21T10:41:00.001-05:00

This is fucking hilarious.

Classic. You can see it dawn on the guy's face a split second after he says it...

Too Many

2011-02-19T13:43:00.000-05:00

RATM

2011-02-15T23:17:00.000-05:00

Deficit

2011-02-07T23:32:00.001-05:00

Fight

2011-02-06T12:24:00.002-05:00

This is hilarious. NSFW language included.

UFC 126 Predictions

2011-02-05T20:07:00.017-05:00

Alright, chubies, I skipped UFC 125 because of the timing and the fact that there was college football to be watched, but I'm back for UFC 126. I really enjoy the UFC, and MMA in general, but having a PPV on New Year's Day was a horrible choice and I'm sure PPV buyrates suffered as a result, especially with a solid but not great card.

However, UFC 126 is tonight and we're back in business. For UFC 124, I went 3-2 to finish above .500 for the first time in a while. Let's see how we can do tonight!

Miguel Torres vs. Antonio Banuelos - In what should be a fun way to start off the night, a couple of 135 pounders square off in the Octagon. I would expect the action to be fast and fierce. Miguel Torres is the formerly dominant WEC Bantamweight champion. 37-1 in his first 38 fights, Torres has dropped 2 of his last 3 to Brian Bowles and Joseph Benevidez. The Benevidez fight was particularly remarkable because Torres got sliced open, was bleeding profusely and submitted to a guillotine choke all within a matter of seconds. Still, Torres is an explosive fighter who can finish a fight quickly but who also has a lot of mileage on his body. I'll admit to never having seen Banuelos fight. His resume isn't half as impressive as Torres's, but he appears to be very tough dude. Being entirely unfamiliar with Banuelos makes this a less than informed opinion, but I'll take what I know over what I don't: Torres via TKO in the 2nd Round.
Jake Ellenberger vs. Carlos Eduardo Rocha - Rocha is undefeated and is making his UFC debut. He is 9-0 with 8 victories by submission. On the other hand, Ellenberger has been here before, having rattled off 2 wins after losing to Carlos Condit in Ellenberger's UFC debut. Ellenberger has excellent wrestling and ground and pound skills that could make for a compelling match-up against the submission skills of Rocha. As Ellenberger has only been submitted once in 27 fights, I see Rocha having a hard time finishing him. Anyone who can take Condit to the limit is a pretty tough guy. I'll take Ellenberger via unanimous decision.
Ryan Bader vs. Jon Jones - Both of these guys are excellent up-and-coming young fighters. This is an exciting match-up between two very young, but impressive Top 10 Light Heavyweight fighters. This could/should be a battle of unbeatens but Jones was disqualified against Matt Hamill for throwing downward/spike elbow strikes into Hamill's face after Jones had mounted him in what was the most impressive loss I've ever seen a fighter endure. Jones was just brutalizing Hamill until the DQ. Bader is incredibly impressive in his own right. A former Ultimate Fighter winner, Bader has defeated Keith Jardine and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira in his last two fights. Based on the Nogueira win, Bader probably has the slightly stronger resume, but Jon Jones is a fucking walking highlight reel and his explosiveness and ability to inflict violence from any position is amazing. I'll take Jones via brutal TKO in the 2nd.
Forrest Griffin vs. Rich Franklin - This is an intriguing fight between two very good, but not great fighters. Griffin has made the most of his natural ability by sticking to well-formulated gameplans and not trying to do too much. Franklin was the pride of the UFC Middleweight class before Anderson Silva came along and rearranged his face. Twice. Both are very skilled, technical fighters. This is almost certain to remain a stand-up fight. I would not be shocked to see a takedown by either fighter, but I would certainly be surprised. Franklin is the more technical striker overall, but Griffin is more than happy to eat 2 punches to deliver one in return. The problem for Griffin is that he doesn't really have KO power, but Franklin does. I don't see Franklin knocking Griffin out, but I do see him using his power to do enough to eke out a decision against a very game Forrest Griffin. Franklin via unanimous decision.
Anderson Silva vs. Vitor Belfort - On one hand, you have the UFC Middleweight Champion, winner of 12 straight UFC fights, and perhaps the best striker in the history of MMA in Silva. On the other hand, you have a fierce striker and a crafty veteran in Belfort, a man with most of the necessary tools to defeat Silva, but unfortunately he lacks the most important. For 22 plus minutes, Chael Sonnen laid out the perfect gameplan to defeat the champion. Quick strikes to set up the takedown, wrestling Silva to the ground and beating down on him with the champion on his back. Only problem is, you can't make a mistake and get caught in a submission. Sonnen learned the hard way...as he has learned plenty of lessons recently. Belfort does not own the wrestling skills that Sonnen has and that will be his undoing against Silva unless he lands a finishing blow early in the fight. I see Belfort winning the early round or rounds before the Champion makes the necessary adjustments and begins to break the Challenger down. I don't see this one going the distance as I think Silva will finally (and one again) finish off a worthy opponent with strikes. Silva via TKO in Round 4. All this being said, I'd be happy to see Belfort win. I cannot stand Anderson Silva.

Check back throughout the night to see how I do!

Results:

Miguel Torres vs. Antonio Banuelos - Torres wins via unanimous decision. In what turned out to be a surprisingly uneventful fight, Torres used his range and his efficient striking to basically out kickbox Banuelos. Banuelos could never figure out how to get inside on the lanky Torres and was essentially picked apart. Neither fighter was ever in any trouble and the crowd was not thrilled with the lack of action. Not how I expected this fight to go. I definitely thought the high-energy, little men would bring excitement but that did not turn out to be the case. Oh well, I'm 1-0.
Jake Ellenberger vs. Carlos Eduardo Rocha - Rocha comes out to Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby. No, really, he did. What an asshole. Blah. Another uneventful fight. Rocha controlled Round 1. Ellenberger fought back in Round 2 to tie things up and then did enough in Round 3 to eke out a Split Decision by scores 29-28, 29-28 and 27-30. Whichever judge gave Rocha all 3 rounds is on crack. No way did he throw a shutout, and after Round 1, he didn't do much at all. Not a fight you'll tell your kids about. I move to 2-0! That never happens!
Ryan Bader vs. Jon Jones - Jones dominates most of the first round. Earning top position and working for a North-South choke that Bader could not figure out how to get out of. Jones didn't have enough leverage and let go of the choke. Bader gets back to his feet but Jones evades a takedown attempt effortlessly. Jones takes Bader back down and drops some elbows on his face. Bader postures up and is able to ride out the round but Jones easily wins Round 1. Some uneventful stand-up exchanges in the first few minutes of Round 2. Jones is landing more than Bader but neither is doing much damage. Jones shoves off a Bader takedown attempt. Another Bader takedown attempt results in Jones on top. Jones works for a D'arce choke and segues into a guillotine. Bader taps! Jon Jones wins via submission. I move to 3-0! Wow. And Jones has just earned a shot at the Light Heavyweight Championship against Mauricio "Shogun" Rua as Shogun is brought into the Octagon for a brief encounter with Jones. I think this is a bit quick, but Jones is on meteoric rise to the top of the UFC LHW division...
Forrest Griffin vs. Rich Franklin - Griffin scores a trip takedown early in Round 1. Forrest doing a good job of staying busy on top but not doing a ton of damage. Griffin's ground and pound gaining some effectiveness over time with not much Franklin can do but try to slow it down. Griffin with some smothering, effective ground and pound. Not putting Franklin in any danger, but it's very one-sided. Franklin doing a decent job of neutralizing Griffin's ground and pound but no offense at all from Franklin. Easily Griffin wins Round 1. Round 2 begins with a couple minutes of stand-up before Griffin gets a-hold of Franklin and drags him to the ground. Griffin with back control and lands some strikes before Franklin earns his escape. Back to the feet. Franklin with some good strikes late in the round but it's hard to see him winning that Round overall. Rick probably needs a stoppage to win. Griffin with more effective striking and grappling in Round 3. Not a total domination or anything close to it, but this was easily a win for Griffin. 29-28 at worst, 30-27 at best. All 3 judges score the first 29-28 for Griffin. Sounds like it was even going into the 3rd, but Forrest Griffin gets the decision. I fall to 3-1 for the evening. Boo.
Anderson Silva vs. Vitor Belfort - 1. Anderson Silva has Steven Seagal in his corner. No, really, he does. 2. Anderson Silva has possessed the UFC Middleweight Championship since October 2006. Over 4 years, he's been the Champ, that's crazy. Here we go! No touching of gloves but we do get a bow from both fighters. I hate Silva. I hope I'm wrong on this one. Almost a minute and a half passes before a strike is thrown and it's a left low kick from Belfort. Two minutes in and Silva hasn't thrown a strike, Belfort's only thrown one. Another left low kick from Belfort whiffs. At close to 2 minutes left in Round 1, a brief exchange ends with Belfort taking Silva down. Silva gets back up. Silva lands a front kick to Belfort's face and he drops. Silva is slow to pounce but lands a straight right and a straight left and Belfort is not responding. The ref waves the fight off. Silva wins via KO. A fucking front kick to Belfort's face essentially ends the fight. The punches were just for good measure.

Ugh. I hate Silva. That asshole can't deliver a good fight even when he knocks his opponent the fuck out. The kick was solid but not exactly spectacular. A solid, but certainly not great PPV. Silva is dominant as shit, but he's also sorta boring. He ended the night by giving a 90 second speech in Portuguese which the translator could not possibly get all of. What a dickhead. Go fuck yourself, Silva.

Metal On A Boat

2011-02-03T23:49:00.000-05:00

Golden Rule

2011-02-03T21:33:00.002-05:00

Gored

2011-02-01T18:37:00.006-05:00

I hate algore.

I really fucking hate algore.

In this week's sign of "man-made global warming" (or is it "climate change" ~~today~~ this week?), algore had some ~~interesting~~ things to say about the recent rash of snowstorms in the United States. At the risk of giving away the ending, it's your fault. FTFA:

Last week on his show Bill O’Reilly asked, “Why has southern New York turned into the tundra?” and then said he had a call into me. I appreciate the question.

As it turns out, the scientific community has been addressing this particular question for some time now and they say that increased heavy snowfalls are completely consistent with what they have been predicting as a consequence of man-made global warming:

“In fact, scientists have been warning for at least two decades that global warming could make snowstorms more severe. Snow has two simple ingredients: cold and moisture. Warmer air collects moisture like a sponge until it hits a patch of cold air. When temperatures dip below freezing, a lot of moisture creates a lot of snow.”
“A rise in global temperature can create all sorts of havoc, ranging from hotter dry spells to colder winters, along with increasingly violent storms, flooding, forest fires and loss of endangered species.”

Ugh.

I mean, thanks to all you assholes reading this for making all this fucking snow.

Not to dredge through the complete and utter lack of credibility of the climate change/global warming "science" crowd (but if you're interested in that, here's the place to start: Google Search= climategate), but what really grinds my gears about algore and all his buddies is the fact that no matter what, they take occurrences in the weather and attribute them to "global warming" or "climate change."

They've staked out a completely unfalsifiable position.

If it's hot out, it's due to global warming or climate change.

If it's cold out, it's due to global warming or climate change.

If it's snowing, it's due to global warming or climate change.

If there's a fucking tornado, it's due to global warming or climate change.

Violent storms? Flooding? Forest fires? Loss of endangered species?

Global warming. Global warming. Global warming. Global warming.

Earthquake? Typhoon? Solar eclipse? Lunar eclipse? Hurricane? Levees break? George Bush hating black people? Wife cheated on you? Catch syphilis from the cheating wife? Stubbed your toe?

Yep, you guessed it, all due to global warming or climate change.

Fuck all that.

And fuck algore.

Tres

2011-01-31T22:01:00.001-05:00

And this stupid asshole is on the Judiciary Committee...

Lucky

2011-01-27T18:25:00.002-05:00

Sometimes, a story speaks for itself and needs no witty banter. FTFA:

A MAN told police he murdered his pregnant wife with an axe because he wanted the feotus to make a lucky charm which might help him win the lottery.
The 38-year-old was arrested a day after after allegedly luring his wife, aged 24, into the forest of northeastern Xieng Khuang province on January 3 and killing her with an axe blow to the back, the Vientiane Times reported.

It said the feotus had not been found.

Police told the state-linked newspaper that the man confessed he planned to use the three-month old feotus to produce a "louk lord", a mystical object which, according to local legend, can give its owner great power and fortune.

"The murderer confessed to the terrible crime, but he won't explain where the body of his unborn child is," Major Khamsouk Phonkhamdy, chief provincial police investigator, was quoted as saying.

The suspect said he had heard that if he "produced a 'louk lord' he would be able to ask the ghosts for lucky lottery numbers," Khamsouk added.

"Or he could sell the 'louk lord' at an extremely high price."

The investigator reportedly said it was unclear whether the killer worked alone or had accomplices who were still trying to produce the "louk lord".

I need a "louk lord" too, but there's got to be a better way!

Instinct

2011-01-25T00:18:00.002-05:00

My most recent favorite song:

Arch Enemy, Angela Gossow: Awesome.

And for a live recording, the audio on that clip is fantastic.

Battleshots

2011-01-23T12:02:00.004-05:00

This looks like an awesome game:

Those two are geniuses.

Goodbye

2011-01-22T16:48:00.001-05:00

At least until it's pulled for copyright infringement...

Great

2011-01-22T02:21:00.002-05:00

Great news or greatest news? FTFA:

Keith Olbermann gives abrupt goodbye to MSNBC show

Keith Olbermann was MSNBC's most popular personality and single-handedly led its transformation to an outspoken, left-leaning cable news network in prime time. Despite that, he often seemed to be walking on a tightrope with his job. Friday night, it snapped.

Olbermann returned from one last commercial break on "Countdown" to tell viewers it was his last broadcast, and read a James Thurber short story in a three-minute exit statement. Simultaneously, MSNBC e-mailed a statement that "MSNBC and Keith Olbermann have ended their contract." The network thanked him and said, "we wish him well in his future endeavors."

Neither MSNBC President Phil Griffin, Olbermann nor his manager responded to requests to explain an exit so abrupt that Olbermann's face was still being featured on an MSNBC promotional ad 30 minutes after he had said goodbye.

Olbermann was nearly fired in November, but instead was suspended two days without pay for violating an NBC News policy by donating to three political campaigns, including the congressional campaign of Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. He returned and apologized to his fans, but not the network.

MSNBC spokesman Jeremy Gaines insisted Olbermann's exit had nothing to do with the acquisition of parent company NBC Universal by Comcast, which received regulatory approval last week. That deal marked the exit of NBC Universal chief Jeff Zucker, who saw Olbermann's value in turning around a once-unprofitable network, despite headaches the mercurial personality could sometimes cause his bosses.

"There were many occasions, particularly in the last 2 1/2 years, where all that surrounded the show — but never the show itself — was just too much for me," Olbermann said in his exit statement. "But your support and loyalty and, if I may use the word, insistence, ultimately required that I keep going. My gratitude to you is boundless."

Olbermann's father, Theodore, who was often cited when his son discussed problems in the health care system, died last March. His mother died the year before.

"A lot of people are trying to figure out if this was truly voluntary or not," said Adam Green, co-founder of BoldProgressives.org, which collected thousands of petition signatures urging Olbermann's reinstatement following last fall's suspension.

Oh man, what a great start to the weekend. I'm sure that pompous blowhard will land on his feet somewhere, but at least for now he has to suffer the indignity of being removed from his perch.

Fuck you, Keith Olbermann. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Ashes

2011-01-19T21:10:00.005-05:00

Heh. This is pretty funny/gross...and sorta sad. FTFA:

Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff's deputies said on Wednesday.

The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on December 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said.
Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.
"The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine," the sheriff's report said.
Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff's spokesman Judge Cochran said.
Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous burglary and other charges.

Opps!

Oh, and then there's this:

and...

Despicable

2011-01-10T23:24:00.009-05:00

As a politically-conservative heavy metal fan who plays ultra-violent videogames, how have I not killed motherfucking everyone yet?

I'm seriously.

By now, everyone's heard about the tragic, horrific, disgusting, [insert as strong an adjective as can be found to denounce what occurred] events perpetuated by the asshole pictured above in Tucson this weekend. There's not much to add to it at this point in terms of the facts.

At this point, one can merely pray for the families of the victims and for the lives and well-being of those injured, including US Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, the ~~presumptive~~ target of the attack.

The slain include, from Wikipedia:

Christina Taylor Green, 9, of Tucson. Green was accompanied to the meeting by a neighbor. Green died at University Medical Center. Born on September 11, 2001, she had appeared in the book Faces of Hope: Babies Born on 9/11 (page 41). She was the daughter of Los Angeles Dodgers scout John Green and Roxanna Green, the granddaughter of former Major League Baseball player and manager Dallas Green and second cousin to actress Sophia Bush. She was in third grade and had recently been elected to the student council at Mesa Verde Elementary School.
Dorothy "Dot" Morris, 76. A retired secretary from Oro Valley. Her husband George survived two gunshot wounds while attempting to shield her.
John Roll, 63. Roll was the chief judge for the U.S. District Court for Arizona. Roll was a native of Pennsylvania and a 1969 graduate of the University of Arizona. He began his legal career as a bailiff in Pima County Superior Court and in 1980 joined the office of the U.S. Attorney. He was appointed to the Arizona Appeals Court in 1987 until he was named to the federal bench by President George H. W. Bush in 1991. He had served as presiding judge since 2006.
Phyllis Schneck, 79. Homemaker from Tucson.
Dorwin Stoddard, 76. Shot in the head while trying to protect his wife Mavy. She spoke with him for 10 minutes before he died of his injuries.
Gabriel "Gabe" Zimmerman, 30. Zimmerman worked on Giffords's staff as a community outreach director. He was engaged to be married.

So incredibly sad, particularly with respect to the 9 year old, Christina Green, granddaughter of former major league manager, executive and pitcher Dallas Green.

However, if anyone wanted an opportunity to see the true nature of the Left in America, the last 3 days have served as a microcosm of all that is wrong with liberals in the United States.

You can almost hear the disappointment from those on the Left that Jared Lee Loughner is not a conservative, that he is not a "teabagger," that he did not take his marching orders from Sarah Palin, that he is not the caricature that they so desperately want to portray him to be - facts be damned! But that's not to stop them from doubling down on stupid in order to repeat the ~~narrative~~ lie over and over in an attempt to make the false true.

You know the old line by Joseph Goebbels that, “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it."

This weekend has been one big lie from the Left, from Keith Olbermann to Paul Krugman to everyone of their little minions on Twitter.

What despicable human beings.

But unlike them and their views of their political opponents, I recognize that they're not half as despicable or evil as Jared Lee Loughner.

There simply are not words to do justice to his status, and to try would only undermine the value of the words themselves.

Obviously, I've read a LOT of commentary over the last three days, but I wanted to highlight a few articles here for you, the reader, if you're so inclined, and for posterity's sake.

First, Michelle Malkin, on her own website, outlines "The progressive 'climate of hate:' An illustrated primer, 2000-2010":

The Tucson massacre ghouls who are now trying to criminalize conservatism have forced our hand.
They need to be reminded. You need to be reminded.

Confront them. Don’t be cowed into silence.

And don’t let the media whitewash the sins of the hypocritical Left in their naked attempt to suppress the law-abiding, constitutionally-protected, peaceful, vigorous political speech of the Right.

They want to play tu quo que in the middle of a national tragedy? They asked for it. They got it.

Next, Jim Lindgren, over at The Volokh Conspiracy, details "Jared Loughner’s Anti-War Views":

Now that Caitie Parker has been confirmed as a friend of Jared Lee Loughner’s, it seems relevant to ask whether Loughner was still a left wing radical, as he was when Caitie last saw him over two years ago. Among the clues are his apparent postings under the name Erad3 at Above Top Secret (ATS). That Erad3 and Loughner are one and the same is indicated by his cross-posting of some of the same material on both YouTube and ATS. In searching through Loughner’s posts as Erad3, several stand out.
On July 7, 2010, Loughner posted his assertion that the war(s) in Iraq and Afghanistan “is a war crime from the Geneva Convention articles of 1949”:
There was help with cleaning the uranium from the Iran and Iraq war in the 1980’s?
Article 33 of the Geneva Convention is the prohibit of pillage.
All military invasions with armed forces into a foreign country are war crimes in the Geneva Convention articles of 1949.
The Iraq and Afghanistan war of 2010 is a military invasion with armed forces into a foreign country.
Therefore, Iraq and Afghanistan war of 2010 is a war crime from the Geneva Convention articles of 1949.
Ouch! For the thoughts of war.
In a thread on unemployment, Loughner quotes with seeming approval, portions of The Universal Declaration of Human Rights asserting “the right to just and favourable remuneration ensuring for himself and his family an existence worthy of human dignity” and “the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care.”
And then there are his frequent attacks on religion and Christianity, e.g.:
Crap on God!
Crap on God!
Crap on God!
Talk to the toilet seat for a hour.
Of course, many responsible people think that the current wars are a “war crime.” Perhaps the majority of the world believes that the state owes people health care and a good standard of living. And at least a couple of the bloggers on this site are atheists (including myself). But these views are much more common on the left than on the right, as is the belief that 9/11 was an inside job.
From reading through page after page of Jared Lee Loughner’s rantings, I see no evidence that he has changed from the left winger that he was in 2007. Indeed, less than six months ago, he was calling the Iraq and Afghan Wars “war crimes” under the Geneva Convention.

Over at the Wall Street Journal, Glenn Reynolds has some words to say on "The Arizona Tragedy and the Politics of Blood Libel: Those who purport to care about the tenor of political discourse don't help civil debate when they seize on any pretext to call their political opponents accomplices to murder":

American journalists know how to be exquisitely sensitive when they want to be. As the Washington Examiner's Byron York pointed out on Sunday, after Major Nidal Hasan shot up Fort Hood while shouting "Allahu Akhbar!" the press was full of cautions about not drawing premature conclusions about a connection to Islamist terrorism. "Where," asked Mr. York, "was that caution after the shootings in Arizona?"

Set aside as inconvenient, apparently. There was no waiting for the facts on Saturday. Likewise, last May New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg and CBS anchor Katie Couric speculated, without any evidence, that the Times Square bomber might be a tea partier upset with the ObamaCare bill.
So as the usual talking heads begin their "have you no decency?" routine aimed at talk radio and Republican politicians, perhaps we should turn the question around. Where is the decency in blood libel?
To paraphrase Justice Cardozo ("proof of negligence in the air, so to speak, will not do"), there is no such thing as responsibility in the air. Those who try to connect Sarah Palin and other political figures with whom they disagree to the shootings in Arizona use attacks on "rhetoric" and a "climate of hate" to obscure their own dishonesty in trying to imply responsibility where none exists. But the dishonesty remains.

To be clear, if you're using this event to criticize the "rhetoric" of Mrs. Palin or others with whom you disagree, then you're either: (a) asserting a connection between the "rhetoric" and the shooting, which based on evidence to date would be what we call a vicious lie; or (b) you're not, in which case you're just seizing on a tragedy to try to score unrelated political points, which is contemptible. Which is it?

I understand the desperation that Democrats must feel after taking a historic beating in the midterm elections and seeing the popularity of ObamaCare plummet while voters flee the party in droves. But those who purport to care about the health of our political community demonstrate precious little actual concern for America's political well-being when they seize on any pretext, however flimsy, to call their political opponents accomplices to murder.

Where is the decency in that?

And finally, Jack Shafer, stands up "In Defense of Inflamed Rhetoric: The awesome stupidity of the calls to tamp down political speech in the wake of the Giffords shooting":

The great miracle of American politics is that although it can tend toward the cutthroat and thuggish, it is almost devoid of genuine violence outside of a few scuffles and busted lips now and again. With the exception of Saturday's slaughter, I'd wager that in the last 30 years there have been more acts of physical violence in the stands at Philadelphia Eagles home games than in American politics.
Any call to cool "inflammatory" speech is a call to police all speech, and I can't think of anybody in government, politics, business, or the press that I would trust with that power. As Jonathan Rauch wrote brilliantly in Harper's in 1995, "The vocabulary of hate is potentially as rich as your dictionary, and all you do by banning language used by cretins is to let them decide what the rest of us may say." Rauch added, "Trap the racists and anti-Semites, and you lay a trap for me too. Hunt for them with eradication in your mind, and you have brought dissent itself within your sights."
Our spirited political discourse, complete with name-calling, vilification—and, yes, violent imagery—is a good thing. Better that angry people unload their fury in public than let it fester and turn septic in private. The wicked direction the American debate often takes is not a sign of danger but of freedom. And I'll punch out the lights of anybody who tries to take it away from me.

So, ultimately, in the spirit of Mr. Shafer: Fuck Liberals and their bullshit demagoguery.

But, really, don't shoot them.

And just to lighten the mood a bit:

Until next time, chubies.

Phillip Morris

2011-01-09T18:10:00.001-05:00

Black Cloud

2011-01-07T23:58:00.002-05:00

This song is awesome:

I've never screwed anyone
That didn't fuck me
And I don't climb the branch
Of another man's tree
I try not to talk
Behind the back
Never enter into thought
If you're Jew or black
Always pay what I owe
Owe what I pay
Doesn't matter if you're female
Muslim or gay
If you're cool to me
I'll be cool to you
And if you lie to me
I won't be straight with you
I never win the lottery
Never catch a break
When I get money back
You bet it's a mistake
When I gamble
I should just throw it away
I take another hit
But know I should've stayed
The green light goes
To start the race
But the helmet falls down
To cover my face
I spread my wings
And I'm ready to fly
And the wind and thunder clouds
Cover the sky

Why does all the crap come back on me?
When does the barrage of bad luck cease?
How long can the black cloud follow me?
How much of this can I take?
Why does all the crap come back on me?
When does the barrage of bad luck cease?
How long can the black cloud follow me?
How much of this can I take?

Why does the black cloud follow me?
Why does the black cloud follow me?
Black cloud follow

When I beat you
I was just returning serve
I climbed the ladder once
When I had nerve
Run for my life
But stop to tie my shoe
When I raped you
I was just taming the shrew
There's a paycheck in my name I see
But I've got no acceptable form of ID
There's a wall at the end
Of a broken path
Add two and two together
But beware of the math
There's a place on earth
Where I feel safe
But I've never been able
To find that place
When I'm high I think
I've got it figured out
Yet my performance is filled
With an aching doubt
There's a feel in the air
That I'm going to win
But the air up here
Is extremely thin
There's a storm cloud chasing me
Wherever I go
And the only people helping me
Keep telling me no

Why does all the crap come back on me?
When does the barrage of bad luck cease?
How long can the black cloud follow me?
How much of this can I take?
Why does all the crap come back on me?
When does the barrage of bad luck cease?
How long can the black cloud follow me?
How much of this can I take?

Why does the black cloud follow me?
Why does the black cloud follow me?
Black cloud follows

How much of this can I take?
Why does all the crap come back on me?
When does the barrage of bad luck cease?
How long can the black cloud follow me?
How much of this can I take?

Why does the black cloud follow me?
Why does the black cloud follow me?
Black cloud follows
Black cloud follows
Black cloud follows

Why does all the crap come back on me?
When does the barrage of bad luck cease?
How long can the black cloud follow me?

Triple B

2011-01-05T18:46:00.000-05:00

Barack's Bullshit Bingo:

Sugar Bowl

2011-01-04T19:24:00.071-05:00

In honor of the Sugar Bowl tonight, I'll be running a mini running diary.

#6 Ohio State University Buckeyes (11-1) versus #8 Arkansas Razorbacks(10-2).

Big Ten versus SEC

Jim Tressel v. Bobby Petrino

Terrelle Pryor v. Ryan Mallett

Let's set the Tat Five aside for now and focus on the game.

7:21 p.m. Just walked in from work after having to stay late. I have a Dortmunder Gold in hand and listened to The Ohio State Marching Band on the way home to start mental preparations. The Buckeye Battle Cry was, of course, a necessary stop along the way.

Now it's time to shave my head and take a quick shower so I don't have to worry about such things tomorrow morning since I have to be up super early.

Be back soon, chubies.

8:13 p.m. Shaved and showered. We need this one. Go Buckeyes! Fuck Mark May! Fuck the SEC!

8:26 p.m. Fuck Hootie.

8:28 p.m. I love New Orleans.

8:31 p.m. And here come the Buckeyes!!!

8:36 p.m. Razorbacks win the coin toss and elect to receive. I like that. I hate receiving...as long as the opposite team doesn't return the fucking kickoff like Wisconsin did earlier this year.

8:38 p.m. Kickoff. Here we go! Go Buckeyes!!!

8:41 p.m. After two lucky drops, Cameron Heyward fucks up the Arkansas offensive line forcing a 3 and out for Arkansas. Good start, but most of it was luck due to dropped passes.

8:44 p.m. Herron lowers a shoulder and just forces an Arkansas DB backwards for 5 extra yards. Fuck yeah.

8:46 p.m. Pryor with a great scramble on 3rd and long but the dumbass fumbles inside the 10...the ball squirted into the endzone and Dane Sanzenbacher recovers for the TD. 7-0, good guys! Gotta be more careful with the ball, Terrelle!

OSU 7, Arkansas 0

8:52 p.m. Trick onside-kick. Not a fan. Arkansas with great field position. Ugh. That onside was sorta dumb. That's not Jim Tressel, field-position football.

8:54 p.m. Mallett hits D.J. Williams with a short pass, he stays up off the ground during an attempted tackle and break free into the endzone. Fuck me.

That'll be upheld on review.

8:56 p.m. Wow. The ruling is that Williams's wrist was down. 1st and 10 at the 17 yard line. Hold 'em, defense!

8:57 p.m. No matter, Mallett connects with his receiver on the next play for the touchdown.

Ohio State 7, Arkansas 7

That onside kick was such a bad idea.

9:02 p.m. Great throw by Pryor on the run on 3rd and 10 for the first down. Unfortunately, Stoneburner's knee was down so that extra 10 yards after the catch won't count.

9:06 p.m. Long pass to Sanzenbacher. Long run by Boom. First and goal.

9:07 p.m. Herron up the middle through a giant hole for a touchdown!

Ohio State 14, Arkansas 7

Now make the Arkansas go more than half the field, Tressel!

9:11 p.m. Wow. 14-7 with 7:11 to play in the first quarter. This could be a high-scoring, loooong game.

9:12 p.m. Nice screen pass for a big gain by Mallett and Arkansas.

9:13 p.m. Arkansas not having much problem running the ball, especially with the threat of Mallett going down field.

9:14 p.m. Finally, a no-gainer.

9:15 p.m. Big sack by Larimore! 3rd and 17. And more pressure on Mallett forces the incompletion! Good defense, Buckeyes!

9:16 p.m. Punt down to the 1 yard line. Buckeyes have to go 99 yards.

9:20 p.m. Herron up the middle on 2nd and 9 to the 9. Big 3rd and 2 here.

9:21 p.m. Ugh. Horrible call on 3rd and short. Arkansas had 9 fucking guys in the box and Pryor still ahead went with the dive play. Herron came up short. Pryor doesn't audible often, but that's one where he should have checked to a slant or screen.

9:22 p.m. Good punt with no return.

9:23 p.m. Fuck. Chekwa may have broken his arm there. That's not good. Fuck...

9:25 p.m. After a delay of game on Arkansas, the first quarter comes to an end. Chimdi Chekwa is probably done for the night. That's sad. And it sucks for the OSU defense.

End of 1st Quarter

Ohio State 14, Arkansas 7

9:30 p.m. Big 4th and 1 here at the OSU 30 yard line: FUCK YES!

Mallett's pass is batted down by Cameron Heyward. Buckeyes take over!

9:34 p.m. Wow. A new play-action pass there that I've never seen OSU use and Reid Fragel goes for 44 yards into Arkansas territory.

9:35 p.m. Herron twists and turns on 2 runs for 9 yards bringing up 3rd and 1.

9:36 p.m. Quick snap and the QB sneak for a 1st down.

9:39 p.m. After a review, a 3rd and 8 pass from Pryor is upheld as a touchdown. Great pass by Pryor. Great catch by Sanzenbacher.

Ohio State 21, Arkansas 7

9:43 p.m. The color guy tonight sucks. He's already called Cameron Heyward: "Cameron Howard" and he called Daniel "Boom" Herron: "Bam Herron."

9:44 p.m. After a big pass by Mallett, a holding call pulls Arkansas back 10 yards.

9:45 p.m. No matter. Arkansas picks up 19 yards on the next play. Damnit.

9:46 p.m. Wow. It was actually 2nd and 3 inches after a big pickup on the previous play. Cameron Heyward blew up the next play for a 4 yard loss. 3rd and 4.

9:47 p.m. Mallett's next pass is dropped. 4th and 4. That was an open receiver. Arkansas should really have many opportunities to take advantage of Chimdi Chekwa's absence.

But for now, Arkansas has to punt.

9:50 p.m. Just an aside, I didn't like Ryan Mallett when he played for Michigan and I don't like him now that he plays for Arkansas.

9:51 p.m. Pryor turns a broken play from a multiple yard loss into a gain of 3. He may be an asshole for selling his OSU awards/memorabilia, but he's a football player.

Great pass by Pryor to Stoneburner for a 16 yard pass and a big run by Saine for a first down.

9:52 p.m. Pass by Pryor for another first down. The hurry-up OSU offense is making things difficult for the Arkansas defense and for me in keeping up with the action. Whew!

9:53 p.m. After a short run and a no-gain on a pass to Saine in the flat, this is a big 3rd and 8.

9:54 p.m. Pass to Posey is just off the mark. Devin Barclay on to kick a field goal.

9:55 p.m. Barclay misses a 50 yard field goal. Had the distance but pulled it left.

That would have been huge.

9:57 p.m. Arkansas with the ball with 5:15 left in the half and all 3 timeouts. A stop here by OSU would be huge. A score by Arkansas would also be huge. This is a big drive.

Great stop on the run on first down.

9:58 p.m. Larimore tackles Mallett for the sack and the ball comes loose. Razorbacks recovered but a loss of several yards. 3rd and long.

9:59 p.m. On 3rd and 20, Mallett is sacked again!

10:00 p.m. Designed run by Pryor for a 5-6 yard gain.

10:01 p.m. Bullshit! No call on that interference. 3rd and 4.

Pryor to Posey for the first down. Pryor is palying lights out.

10:02 p.m. Pryor to Stoneburner for another first down. 2:16 to play.

10:03 p.m. Pryor to Posey for 43 yards and the touchdown!!!

Ohio State 28, Arkansas 7

10:06 p.m. Cameron Heyward is skullfucking the Arkansas offensive line. And his arm is injured. He's helping his draft stock tonight!

10:07 p.m. Mallett and Arkansas out near the 35 yard line. 52 ticks left on the clock. 3 timeouts left for Arkansas.

10:08 p.m. OH SHIT! Orhian Johnson should have had an interception. 3rd and 2.

Big run by Arkansas into OSU territory. Drive should have been over. Damnit, Orhian.

10:10 p.m. After the first Arkansas timeout, Mallett throws deep and out of bounds. 2nd and 10 from the OSU 40.

After another incompletion, 28 ticks left on the clock.

10:11 p.m. Cameron Heyward all over Mallett as he scrambles out of a broken pocket forcing another incomplete pass. Huge.

10:12 p.m. 4th and 10 for Arkansas and OSU takes a timeout.

10:13 p.m. False start on Arkansas forces 4th and 15.

10:14 p.m. Fuck. Nice pass by Mallett for a first down. Good play.

10:15 p.m. 16 seconds left in the half. One timeout for Arkansas. 1st and 10 at the OSU 24 yard line.

Wow. Heyward again forces an off-balance throw that should have been a completion. Two Arkansas receivers had a chance at that one and Joe Adams dropped it. Whoops!

10 seconds left.

10:16 p.m. Nice catch by Cobi Hamilton down inside the 5 yard line but only 4 seconds left.

Go for the touchdown or take the 3 points?

10:17 p.m. Arkansas takes the points.

End of the 1st Half

Ohio State 28, Arkansas 10

I'll see you after finally eating dinner. Go Buckeyes!

10:27 p.m. Time for a stuffed pepper that Lucy tried to steal from me.

10:43 p.m. Second half is underway and OSU has the ball near midfield.

10:44 p.m. After a short gain by Herron on 2nd and 11, 3rd and 8 from the Arkansas 49: Pryor with a stupid pass on the scramble that could have and should have been picked off.

10:45 p.m. Arkansas gets the ball back with a long field to go.

10:47 p.m. Arkansas with a pickup on 3rd and 4. 12:05 to play and ticking...

Knile Davis up the middle for 11 to the Arkansas 40 yard line.

10:48 p.m. Tipped pass should have been picked off by Torrence.

10:49 p.m. Knile Davis picks up 9 to set up 3rd and very short. That last pass should have been an interception. Hope that doesn't come back to haunt us.

Nope, Davis got 10. Make that a first down.

10:50 p.m. Adams with a wide-open catch. First down, Arkansas.

C'mon defense.

10:51 p.m. Nice stop by the OSU defense, holding Davis to only a yard. 2nd and long.

Wounded duck thrown up by Mallett there that goes well out of bounds.

P.S. I love Cameron Heyward. Dude is a beast.

10:52 p.m. Oooh. Draw on 3rd and 10 for a couple yards. 4th and 6 for Arkansas. Watch the fake.

10:53 p.m. Arkansas field goal cuts into the 18 point lead.

Ohio State 28, Arkansas 13

10:55 p.m. I'm out of Dortmunder Golds. All 5 are gone. It's on to Canadian Club.

10:57 p.m. Loss of 1 yard on first down. C'mon, Buckeyes.

Pryor up the middle for 8 yards. 3rd and 2ish.

10:58 p.m. Incomplete pass on 3rd down. FUCK.

10:59 p.m. Arkansas fumble on the punt. Almost picked up by OSU. That would have been huge.
The defense needs to hold again here.

11:02 p.m. Arkansas takes over at its own 15 yard line. Gain of 2 yards on first down.

Pass by Mallett probably would have been ruled an incompletion anyways since the receiver went out of bounds and then came back in - he can't be the next player to touch the ball - but he dropped it. 3rd and 8.

11:03 p.m. Big 3rd down. Mallett's screen pass was snuffed out. 3 and out for Arkansas.

11:04 p.m. Punt hits an Arkansas player in the side giving OSU possession in pretty good field position. A score here is huge.

11:07 p.m. Update from Adam Rittenberg on ESPN on Chimdi Chekwa: "All-Big Ten cornerback Chimdi Chekwa won't return after suffering what Jim Tressel called a serious injury in the first half. Tressel said Chekwa, who appeared to injure his elbow or arm, will undergo surgery later this week."

Throw by Pryor to Posey for a nice gain on first down. Short run by Herron on first down before any review can commence.

11:08 p.m. After contact close to the line of scrimmage, Herron bursts through for a 6-7 yard gain. On a quick snap, Herron is stopped for no gain. 4th down.

11:09 p.m. 47 yard attempt by Barclay: Good. 4:10 to play in the quarter.

Ohio State 31, Arkansas 13

11:12 p.m. But for Ohio State giving Arkansas great field position on that ill-conceived onside kick, Arkansas likely wouldn't even have reached the endzone so far.

Nice hit on the ensuing kickoff puts Arkansas deep in their own territory.

11:13 p.m. After a first down pick up on a nice run, OSU stiffs a Mallett screen for a 1 yard loss.

11:14 p.m. Knile Davis with a 16 yard carry out near midfield. Nice play.

11:15 p.m. After a nice play by the OSU defense on another screen, Knile Davis breaks through for a first down on 2nd and 8, but Davis fumbles.

Ugh. Arkansas recovers near the OSU 38.

11:16 p.m. Stumon rushes for 16 yards off the corner. Arkansas with the ball at the OSU 22.

11:17 p.m. Mallett with a great throw on a fade route to Jarius Wright for a touchdown. Great pass, great catch. And Cameron Heyward is helped off the field.

11:18 p.m. Arkansas lines up to go for 2 points and OSU burns a timeout. 58 seconds to play in the 3rd quarter.

11:19 p.m. FUCK. OSU almost stopped that 2 point conversion but DJ Williams reached the ball out and across the goal line for the conversion.

Ohio State 31, Arkansas 21

11:21 p.m. Jordan Hall returns to the 26 yard line. Time to go to work, Buckeyes.

Horrible option play by Pryor on 1st down goes for no gain. Ugh.

11:22 p.m. Last play of the quarter: Pryor's screen pass is tipped and caught by an OSU offensive lineman for a loss. 3rd and long. Fuck this shit.

11:25 p.m. Big 3rd down play. Buckeyes need to at least pick up several yards to get the field position back in their favor.

Actually, the play was reviewed and the pass was incomplete. 4 seconds remain in the 3rd quarter as a result. 3rd and long for the Buckeyes.

11:28 p.m. On 3rd and 10, Pryor picks up the first down only to have the play called back on a holding penalty. 3rd and 20.

11:29 p.m. Pryor's 3rd down pass is well out of bounds. Buckeyes have to punt.

End of 3rd Quarter

Ohio State 31, Arkansas 21

I have to stop doing these. I always promise to make them shorter and just update throughout the game, but I can't help it and I end up updating constantly...gah.

11:32 p.m. Arkansas will start the next drive on their own 49 yard line. Fuck me.

11:33 p.m. Nice defense on first down forces the incompletion.

Knile Davis picks up 2 yards. 3rd and long.

11:34 p.m. Big play here. First down Arkansas, after an 11 yard pass by Mallett to DJ Williams.

Fuck.

11:35 p.m. Short pass for 4 to Stuben.

11:36 p.m. Cameron Heyward blows up the offensive line again for a sack. 3rd and 13.

Mallett is forced out of the pocket and throws the ball away. It could have been intentional grounding but Arkansas is forced to punt.

11:37 p.m. Nice punt caught by Arkansas on the OSU 3 yard line. 97 yard field for the Buckeyes with 12:06 to play. They need a drive and/or some points here.

11:41 p.m. On 1st down, the refs call a safety after Boom Herron is forced back into the endzone. That was a horrible call. Forward progress should have given OSU the 2 yard line. Fucking ridiculous.

Ohio State 31, Arkansas 23

And now Arkansas gets the ball back...fuck.

11:43 p.m. Arkansas with the ball near midfield with 11 minutes to play.

Big pass to Jarius Wright for a first down into OSU territory.

11:45 p.m. Arkansas with the ball near the OSU 30 with 10:31 to play. Timeout Arkansas.

11:47 p.m. Ross Homan with a stop after a gain of one yard. 2nd and 9, Arkansas.

Big open-field tackle by Devon Torrence for a loss. 3rd and long for Arkansas. Have to hold here, defense!

11:48 p.m. Incomplete pass. Field goal unit comes on. 47 yard attempt: Good.

Ohio State 31, Arkansas 26

11:50 p.m. Fuck. Jordan Hall is stopped near the OSU 14 yard line on the kickoff. Should have taken the touchback.

11:51 p.m. Pryor stopped on the option for a short loss. Bad play call.

11:52 p.m. 2nd and 11. Pryor runs for 5-6 yards. 3rd and 5.

This play is HUGE.

11:53 p.m. Oh my God. Pryor with a huge scramble for a first down after he was almost sacked. That was a huge play.

C'mon, Buckeyes.

No gain for Herron on first down.

11:54 p.m. Pryor throws the ball away. 3rd and 10.

11:55 p.m. False start on OSU that should have been encroachment on Arkansas. Fucking horrible call.

11:57 p.m. Pryor with a big gain on a scramble but he is just short of the first down.

11:58 p.m. 4th and inches. OSU going for the first down. 6:10 to play.

12:00 a.m. Herron fumbles and the ball is knocked backwards. OSU recovers but is short of the first down. Fuck me.

12:01 a.m. After a hold on Arkansas, they're backed up 10 yards. 1st and 20.

Mallett is almost intercepted. 2nd and long.

12:02 a.m. Knile Davis picks up about 4 yards on the screen pass. 3rd and 16 or so.

12:03 a.m. Wow. Lance Ray drops the 3rd down pass that would have put Arkansas within 5 yards of the first down. Arkansas forced to punt.

The punt goes out of bounds inside the OSU 5 yard line.

12:04 a.m. OSU gets the ball back up 5 points with 4:33 to play. This is insane.

12:06 a.m. Herron for a big gain out to the OSU 22 yard line. He ran right up the middle through a big hole. Nice!

12:07 a.m. Herron with no more than a yard. 2nd and long.

3:30 to play and ticking...

12:08 a.m. Pryor on a designed run for about 9 yards. Pryor is just short of the first down.

12:09 a.m. Pryor for the sneak on 3rd and inches for the first down.

12:10 a.m. Herron picks up 3 yards and almost busts that one open. 2nd and 7.

12:11 a.m. Oh Fuck. Pryor is limping and Bauserman is warming up. FUCK!

12:12 a.m. Bauserman in for one snap and hands off to Herron who goes for 2 yards. 3rd and 5ish and Arkansas has used their last timeout. 2:02 to play.

12:14 p.m. On 3rd down, Pryor is back and hands off to Herron. He picks up 2 yards. 4th and 3.

12:15 a.m. OSU will let the clock run down as far as possible. 1:15 to play and OSU has used their 2nd timeout. OSU will punt.

12:16 a.m. Arkansas blocks the punt and gains possession deep in OSU territory. Oh my God.

12:17 a.m. Arkansas with the ball on the OSU 18. Incomplete pass on first down. This is such fucking bullshit. OSU is going to blow this game.

12:18 a.m. NO, THEY'RE NOT!!

Solomon Thomas picks off Ryan Mallett's pass on 2nd down to seal the victory for Ohio State!!!

HOLY SHIT!!!

12:19 a.m. Pryor takes a knee and ends the game.

Wow.

One of the Tat Five, Solomon Thomas, intercepts Ryan Mallett to seal the victory.

Oh my fucking God.

The SEC streak over OSU is over.

OSU gains some redemption for the Big Ten, but it was still not a good post-season.

Holy shit. I was jumping up and down a ton. Wow.

Final Score: Ohio State 31, Arkansas 26

I feel like Roger Dorn at the end of Major League vis-a-vis Ricky Vaughn. I want to punch Terrelle Pryor in the mouth and then hug him and celebrate.

Cameron Heyward was awesome.

Terrelle Pryor was awesome in the first half.

The defense bent, but never broke.

Wow. Time for Carmen Ohio. This never, ever, gets old:

Wow. I think this literally may be the last time I do a running diary. It takes away from my enjoyment of the game. In the 2nd half especially, I was trying to keep up with the blog and not following the flow of the game. With 5 minutes left, I felt somewhat detached from the game - not because I didn't care, but because I was busy updating the blog.

However...then the game ended...in an obviously remarkable fashion and I became very emotional. Let's just say that I'm not exactly disappointed that I was alone at the time. Ohio State football means more to me than any sport except maybe Cleveland Indians baseball - and that's at best a tie.

Perhaps sports shouldn't mean so much to a person, but it does - to me, this sport, in particular.

I never played football at Ohio State...or in high school. Hell, I only played one year of football ever. And that consisted of one year when I was in 8th grade. And by "playing," I mean that I was on the 3rd fucking team and played the bare minimum of plays most games - one game, not even that.

No, I never played football at Ohio State, but I grew up in Cleveland, so I understand Cleveland/Ohio sports history and Cleveland/Ohio sports mentality. And, at this point, I also am an alumni of The Ohio State University. And anything that gives my alma mater a black mark really pisses me off, especially when it's self-inflicted, such as by what Terrelle Pryor and the rest of the Tat Five did back in 2009. It's partially a matter of my upbringing and my ingrained Cleveland/Ohio pride, but more than anything it's linked to my pride in being an OSU alumni and loving The Ohio State University.

So, for anyone who has seen Major League, you understand the Roger Dorn/Ricky Vaughn analogy perfectly. The only difference is, Ricky Vaughn didn't know that chick was Roger Dorn's wife. Terrelle Pryor and the rest of the Tat Five should have fucking known better.

So, even though I haven't blogged about it, I've been plenty pissed off about it and mainly haven't put my thoughts into words because I wasn't sure what to say. But even with the win tonight, I'm plenty pissed with Terrelle Pryor, Dan Herron, DeVier Posey, Mike Adams, and Solomon Thomas. But no matter how pissed off I am at them, they're still fellow Buckeyes and I feel like I owe it to them a chance to make it right. Tonight was the first step. At first, I hoped they all left after the Sugar Bowl and went pro. But now, I hope they stay, sit out their suspensions and help the 2011-2012 Buckeyes realize their potential.

Forgiveness is possible. Forgetting is not. The actions/words of Pryor, Herron, Posey, Adams, and Thomas began tonight. If they don't all come back, their words will mean nothing, since they've all promised Jim Tressel that they'll come back for their senior years.

Tonight was step 1. Coming back next year and dealing with their suspensions is step 2.

But for now, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Go Bucks. O-H!!!

Oh come let's sing Ohio's praise
And songs to Alma Mater raise
While our hearts rebounding thrill
With joy which death alone can still
Summer's heat or winter's cold
The seasons pass the years will roll
Time and change will surely show
How firm thy friendship ... O-HI-O!

2011

2010-12-31T14:26:00.008-05:00

So, I just realized I hadn't updated with my Christmas Loot. I suck. Here goes:

1. Computer Printer (for Debra and me)
2. Slippers
3. Oscillating Tower Fan
4. Xbox - Enslaved
5. Xbox - Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
6. Xbox - MS Points
7. Xbox - 250 GB Hard Drive
8. T-shirt - Browns
9. T-shirt - OSU Buckeyes
10. T-shirt - Washington Capitals
11. DVD - The History of Ohio State Buckeye Football
12. DVD - Slipknot (sic)nesses - Live at Download
13. CD - Arch Enemy - Wages of Sin
14. CD - Arch Enemy - Anthems of Rebellion
15. CD - Arch Enemy - Rise of the Tyrant
16. CD - Black Label Society - Stronger Than Death
17. CD - Black Label Society - Shot to Hell
18. CD - Chimaira - The Infection
19. CD - Flotsam and Jetsam - Doomsday for the Deceiver
20. CD - Flotsam and Jetsam - The Cold
21. Quicken 2011
22. Visa Gift Card
23. Cash
24. OSU Calendar

It was a good Christmas as I got to spend it with most of my family, save my older brother who couldn't make it. And it was the first Christmas that Debra and I spent together as a married couple. Feel free to share your experiences and what you got in the comments!

And then last night, a few past/present co-workers and/or their significant others engaged in a wing eating contest. Last year, on New Year's Eve, a co-worker/buddy and I competed to see who could eat the most Flatliner wings. He quit after 2 because they're so damn hot. I ended up downing 20 of them, winning easily.

But last night, there were 5 entrants in a contest to see who could eat the highest number of wings, regardless of sauce/heat. I hung tight, ending at 53, but the runner-up last year easily cruised to 61 wings and could have kept going. I could have forced a few more down but I would have literally made myself sick and wouldn't have been able to keep up with him if he kept going. I'll tell you what, I felt like shit this morning though.

We have to come up with a new fun contest for New Years next year - hopefully not wing-related.

And so, tonight brings a conclusion to 2010. It's been a pretty good year. I got married and I ate 53 wings last night. Um, there were probably other highlights but it's about time to start drinking for tonight. Go read through the archives if you're interested; don't be so lazy.

Be safe tonight, chubies. And Happy New Year!

And as an encore, here's Burn the Bridge by Mushroomhead with the lyrics. Great tune!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-25T00:06:00.000-05:00

Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra-rah-ra-ra-rah! Merry Christmas from Cleveland, Ohio, motherbitches!

Womyn

2010-12-21T21:24:00.001-05:00

This is funny.

Brawl

2010-12-18T02:50:00.005-05:00

Wow. I'm all for fighting in hockey. In fact, this website, hockeyfights.com, is fantastically fun. Well, okay, perhaps "all for" is a bit much, but I have no problem with fighting in hockey. It has its place and its purpose unlike in some other sports, but this shit is ridiculous:

Here's the story:

This was the scene in January 2010, when players from Vityaz Chekhov initiated a brawl with members of Kontinental Hockey League rival Avangard Omsk.

Both clubs were fined by the KHL as a result of this fight, and the league warned Vityaz that they could face expulsion from the league if they ever did something like this again.

Over the weekend, the two clubs met again, and it took just six seconds before all you-know-what broke loose.

Just like the first time around, players for Vityaz were clearly the instigators, but the KHL decided not to follow through on their initial threat.

Instead, the league apparently hopes a handful of double-digit suspensions will get the message across.
(Josh) Gratton was given a 15-game suspension, (Ivan) Larin got 14 games, (Sergei) Belokon 13 and (Darcy) Verot 12. They were also fined between 10,000 and 25,000 Rubles (€244-610), sums that will hardly affect their economy. But the suspensions will hurt Vityaz as the club will have to continue paying these players without being able to use them.

Vityaz coach Nazarov was fined 400,000 Rubles (€9,800) for his gesture and Avangard GM Bardin 100,000 Rubles (€2,400) for rule violations.
Avangard Omsk is livid over the events, calling the fight "pre-planned hooliganism." They pointed to the fact that Vityaz had already booked flights to Moscow for some players, even before the fight happened.

League vice president Vladimir Shalayev repeated the league's threat to expel Vityaz without actually following through on it.
"The leadership of Vityaz will be invited to a meeting. We will hold a serious discussion with them," Shalayev told daily newspaper Sport-Express. "Anything can happen [in the case of further incidents], even the exclusion from the KHL. After the meeting, [KHL president Alexander] Medvedev will define the criteria and the club from Chekhov will be informed about them. If they violate the rules of the game, they will probably have to leave. This position is shared not only by the league, but also by most clubs."
Vityaz forward and former NHL discipline magnet Chris Simon told sportbox.ru, "This is hockey, guys! We hate [Avangard] with pride. We will always show emotions in matches against this opponent. This is real fighting spirit!"

Sounds like there aren't many regrets coming from the Vityaz side over the events, which makes one wonder what has to happen to make the KHL actually turn their threats into action.

Apparently, there's a long history between these two teams, including this series of fights (referenced at the beginning of the article above) that culminates in a bench-clearing brawl back in January of this year:

That's crazy. Typically, hockey fights are governed by "the code," which most players/teams adhere to, but apparently much of that goes out the window with these two teams. It'll be interesting to see whether any criminal charges are brought against the Vityaz players.

Are You Serious?

2010-12-13T20:39:00.004-05:00

Yes, you stupid, plasticized bitch, we're fucking serious.

And so is U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson. FTFA:

RICHMOND, Va.—A federal court ruled Monday that a key part of the health-care overhaul violates the Constitution, dealing the first legal setback to the Obama administration's signature legislative accomplishment.

A federal judge ruled that a central plank of the health law-the requirement that most Americans carry insurance-violates the Constitution, dealing the biggest setback yet to the Obama administration's signature legislative accomplishment. Ashby Jones discusses.

U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson said the law's requirement that most Americans carry insurance or pay a penalty "exceeds the constitutional boundaries of congressional power."

The 42-page ruling doesn't mean states or the federal government must stop implementing the law. But it is expected to give ammunition to a broad Republican assault against the overhaul, which includes efforts in Congress to chip away at it.

Requiring Americans to buy insurance "would invite unbridled exercise of federal police powers," wrote Judge Hudson, a George W. Bush appointee in the Eastern District of Virginia. "At its core, this dispute is not simply about regulating the business of insurance—or crafting a scheme of universal health insurance coverage—it's about an individual's right to choose to participate."

The Obama administration said it was confident higher courts would rule the law constitutional, and said it was weighing an appeal. "Challenges like this are nothing new," White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters Monday. "I don't think the decision today and how he decided it was a surprise to anybody here."

The lawsuit, brought by Virginia Republican Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli, is the first court ruling against the law since President Barack Obama signed it in March. More than 20 federal lawsuits have been filed against the overhaul, and judges in two of those cases ruled in favor of the Obama administration. The battle is expected to end up at the Supreme Court, though probably not until the 2011-12 term at the earliest.

Judge Hudson didn't grant the plaintiffs their request for an immediate nationwide injunction against the entire law or against the requirement that most Americans carry insurance. That requirement, known as the individual mandate, begins in 2014.

"We've won the first round of this particular fight, but we know there are others to come," Mr. Cuccinelli said. "This lawsuit is not about health care. It's about liberty."

Of course, the legal battle is not over, but I hate to say I/we told you so.

Back

2010-12-11T21:30:00.009-05:00

Alright, chubies, time for my UFC 124 predictions. Hopefully I can crap .500 tonight. I believe I've gone 2-3 the last couple UFC events so hopefully I can do a bit better this week. Let's see how it goes!

Jim Miller vs. Charles Oliveira - In a battle of Lightweights, Oliveiri is 14-0 and in his 3rd fight in the UFC, 6 wins by (T)KO and 7 by submission. Miller, on the other hand, is 18-2 and 7-1 in the UFC with his only UFC loss coming against Gray Maynard who is undefeated and is fighting for the LW title at UFC 125. I've never actually seen Oliveiri fight but even so, it's hard to pick against a UFC veteran who has defeated consistently solid opposition. I'll take Miller by decision.
Thiago Alves vs. John Howard - Another UFC veteran, Alves is coming off a 2 fight losing streak but those two losses have come at the hands of the dominant UFC Welterweight Champion, George St. Pierre (linked to below) and Jon Fitch who is 23-3 and 21-1 in his last 22 fights with his only loss to St. Pierre. Alves is a tough dude with heavy strikes who tends to gas out over time in his longer fights. Howard is 14-5 with his last 5 fights in the UFC. He's gone 4-1 in his those fights, losing the last one. It's hard to pick against Alves, and I won't. I'll take Alves by TKO in Round 2.
Joe Stevenson vs. Mac Danzig - I hate Mac Danzig. He's a dirty, hippie douchebag. His haircut right makes him look like a lead singer of some faggy emo band. Stevenson has fought 42 times, winning 31 of them. I see Stevenson grasping onto a submission, probably a guillotine choke and getting Danzig to tap like a little bitch. Stevenson by submission in Round 2.
Stefan Struve vs. Sean McCorkle - This is a battle of some big heavyweights. Struve is 6'11" and weighs close to 250. McCorkle is 6'7" and close to 265. McCorkle is undefeated at 10-0 and won his UFC debut by submission against Mark Hunt off his back. Pretty impressive. Struve 20-4 overall and 5-1 in the UFC, winning his last 5. I do not see this fight going the distance. This is probably the fight I'm least decided about. I'm gonna go with the newcomer, Sean McCorkle by TKO in Round 2.
Georges St. Pierre vs. Josh Koscheck - I hate Koscheck. I fucking hate him. I've never liked him and I cannot root for that asshole. Ever since he's been on The Ultimate Fighter, I've wanted to see him get his face punched in. I also cannot stand St. Pierre, but I do not hate him half as much as I do Koscheck. Unfortunately for Koscheck, we've seen this fight before and St. Pierre may be the most dominant UFC fighter ever. Last time, St. Pierre handled Koscheck easily via decision. I think he earns the stoppage tonight. Koscheck hangs tough for a while but succumbs to St. Pierre's top control after time. St. Pierre by submission to strikes in Round 4.

Check back to see how I did, motherbitches!

Actual Results:

Thiago Alves vs. John Howard - Alves dominated Howard with his stand-up striking and leg kicks. A completely one-sided fight where Alves put the exclamation point on his stand-up domination with a few slams and subsequent ground and pound. - Thiago Alves easily takes the unanimous decision.
Joe Stevenson vs. Mac Danzig - After a very even first 3 minutes, Danzig clips Stevenson with a short left hook as Stevenson was coming in. A perfect punch and Stevenson is out. Motherfucker. I hate that guy. - Mac Danzig wins by KO in the first round.
Jim Miller vs. Charles Oliveira - Wow! Great fight. Miller took Oliveira down within the first minute or so and tried to work some ground and pound but Oliveira transitioned from submission attempt to submission attempt keeping Miller on the defensive. While Oliveira was on his back grasping a leg lock, Miller turned the tables and grasped onto his own leg lock, a knee bar and got Oliveira to tap out about halfway through the first round. Good action and a fun finish. - Jim Miller by submission in Round 1.
Stefan Struve vs. Sean McCorkle - I should have gone with my instincts on this one and picked Struve, but I didn't and I'm back to 2-2. McCorkle took Struve down early and had a couple of submission attempts including a kimura with Struve's arm held behind his back but he was pushed up against the fence so McCorkle couldn't finish. Struve swept the shorter but bigger man and landed in mount where Struve pounded out a referee stoppage. I thought the stoppage was slightly premature but McCorkle didn't protest, nor did his corner. On to the main event. - Stefan Struve wins via TKO in Round 1.
Georges St. Pierre vs. Josh Koscheck - St. Pierre unsurprisingly wins this fight going away. He got off his punches earlier, with more power and and barely got touched in the opposite direction. St. Pierre couldn't finish Koscheck even though he poured on some pressure in the 4th and 5th rounds and he takes the decision unanimously and easily. - Georges St. Pierre wins via unanimous decision and retains his Welterweight Championship.

3-2 this time. At least I'm positive for once!

43

2010-12-09T22:48:00.002-05:00

SallyMonkeys and I were at this show. Fucking brutal old school Mushroomhead. Good times!

Perhaps my favorite song off the new album:

Six

2010-12-08T00:15:00.003-05:00

Six years ago today, in Columbus, OH, Dimebag Darrell Abbott was shot to death by Nathan Gale. Fuck Nathan Gale.

I'm not sure I've seen this before and I sorta wish I could unsee it.

Dimebag Solos:

Hollow:

Last year's tribute to Dimebag Darrell is here.

You should listen to Pantera and Damageplan today in honor of one of the greatest to ever pick up a guitar - one who was stolen from the world way too soon. I will be.

December

2010-12-01T21:30:00.002-05:00

Holy shit, I've not updated in almost 3 weeks. Been slacking. And really busy. I need to get back at this - and I will.

Soon.

Sorry to disappoint you chubies with a lack of updates. I'll make it up to you.

Let's start with this:

w00t! Mushroomhead. You're welcome.

Let's separate the users from the whores.

Back soon.

Close

2010-11-13T18:50:00.002-05:00

Whew.

That was a hell of a close game until the 4th quarter. Bucks finally pull away and win 38-14, keeping the Big Ten title hopes alive.

I've posted this before, but it's awesome:

Go Bucks!

Fuck Wisconsin. This shit is classless, SEC-type bullshit. They should be ashamed of themselves. Kicking field goals and throwing the ball up 40+ points in the 4th quarter is bush league.

James

2010-11-05T16:12:00.002-04:00

Smoked Out

2010-11-02T19:17:00.005-04:00

A fitting tribute to Nancy Pelosi:

I come to you for guidance
I come to you for help
You just see a bright idea
To benefit yourself
You know that there's no risk
Nothing you should dread
On to your deception
This view of wool delights my head

Finally I realize what you're all about
Time to pull out all the stops
Don't make me spell it on
All I know is what I'd do
If I was in your shoes
Nothing close to what you've done
Nothing close to what you do

Tell me that I'm failing
Hold me under thumb
Play off my emotions
Made blind, deaf, and dumb
Another hole in the bucket
Where it's wet you're gonna slide
You can't walk down the middle
Without slipping off the side

Smoked out
Peeled back
Unearthed, yeah...
The real you washes ashore

I come to you for guidance
I come to call a truce
You take the rope I climb
And tie at in a noose
Ask my permission
To ask my permission
Don't even take a breath unless I know

Tell me that I'm failing
Hold me under thumb
Play off my emotions
Made blind, deaf, and dumb
You will make it up to me
You will make amends
We will not be family
And we will not be friends

Smoked out
Peeled back
Unearthed, yeah...
The real you washes ashore

Smoked out
Peeled back
Unearthed, yeah...
The real you washes ashore

I come to you for guidance
I'm coming for the truth
You take the rope I climb
And tie at in a noose
Finally I realize what you're all about
Pack up all your shit and get the fuck out!!!

Tell me that I'm failing
Hold me under thumb
Take off on my emotions
Blind, deaf, and dumb
You will make it up to me
You will make amends
We cannot be family
And we will not be friends

Smoked out
Peeled back
Unearthed, yeah...
The real you washes ashore

Smoked out
Peeled back

Smoked out...
Peeled back...
Unearthed...
The real you washes ashore...

Smoked out...
Peeled back...
Smoked out...

That bitch is fired!

Looks like Harry Reid will survive the night, but at least Pelosi's position as Speaker of the House has been unceremoniously torn from her grasp in this stunning rebuke of Captain Kickass' policy preferences.

Sanity is on the way to being restored.

Election to Restore Sanity

2010-11-01T19:34:00.008-04:00

On the heels of Jon Stewart's idiot-a-thon "Rally to Restore Sanity" on Saturday, here are a couple of fantastic critiques of the inanity on display.

First, Yuval Levin tears Stewart apart beautifully [all emphasis added]:

Did it not seem strange to the people involved that the voice of condescending acerbic satire should be calling on others to restore civility and seriousness to our politics, complaining about political disagreement, and arguing for “sanity”? Can one really be simultaneously so detached and disappointed, earnest and smug?

But as you listen to what Stewart had to say, you come to grasp a little more about how he and his audience understand themselves, and why the contradiction really might not have seemed so strange to them. The point is clarified in particular by what they take to be the opposite of their view—that is, the position supposedly lampooned by Stephen Colbert, whose fake counter-rally to the fake rally was called The Rally to Restore Fear. Once you see that they take “fear” to be the key to their opponents’ message, and “sanity” to be the opposite of fear, you realize that the best explanation for it all was actually offered by President Obama earlier this fall, when he told a group of Democratic donors:
Part of the reason that our politics seems so tough right now, and facts and science and argument does not seem to be winning the day all the time, is because we’re hard-wired not to always think clearly when we’re scared, and the country is scared.
This is the view of many urbane, sophisticated, self-satisfied liberals today: that they are the voice of reason and sanity, and their opponents are driven by fear and are fundamentally irrational—if not indeed insane. It’s a view that Stewart delivers in the form of the superior, disdainful, caustic (though of course often funny) satire of his show, offered up with a sense that the solutions to the problems facing the country are actually pretty obvious but some very stupid people insist on not seeing them. Other liberal critics have offered an even more explicit version of this attitude: George Packer of The New Yorker writes that Obama is “the voice of reason incarnate, and maybe he’s too sane to be heard in either Jalalabad or Georgia.” Senator John Kerry thinks that “facts, science, truth seem to be significantly absent from what we call our political dialogue.”

But both of the premises these folks advance—that they are themselves the voice of reason and that their opponents are caught in the grip of irrational fear—are rather problematic. To begin with, the idea that Obama and the left stand for pure reason makes it difficult to understand the election of Obama himself—both his nomination and his general election victory—which hardly amounted to an exercise in cold reason. The Obama campaign was, rather, a circus of charisma and cult of personality, complete with comically nebulous promises of hope and change, vaguely uplifting self-help rhetoric (think “we are the ones we’ve been waiting for”), absurdly messianic talk of pushing back the oceans and the like, and fevered leader-worship (think of the bizarre celebrity fawning and loyalty pledges).

This was surely far more about naive passion and blind hope than pure reason. And it was intended, among other things, to paper over the fact that the Obama campaign was basically asking us to elect as the nation’s chief executive a thoroughly inexperienced smug intellectual whose radical past put him far to the left of the country, whose voting record made him the most liberal member of the Senate, who had never had to be answerable to an ideologically diverse electorate, and who had never run anything before. That’s what something closer to pure reason would have suggested about Obama, but his supporters argued we should vote out of motives other than the straightforward implication of these facts.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing — such passions have a very important place in political life, and human beings are not purely rational animals. “Politics,” a wise man said, “ought to be adjusted not to human reasonings but to human nature, of which the reason is but a part, and by no means the greatest part.” Their case and their motives were not out of bounds. But people who acted in a crucial moment on the basis of such motives are hardly in a position to lecture their fellow citizens about reason incarnate.

President Obama has since governed precisely as a thoroughly inexperienced smug intellectual whose radical past put him far to the left of the country, whose voting record made him the most liberal member of the Senate, who had never had to be answerable to an ideologically diverse electorate, and who had never run anything before should be expected to govern. This of course has not worked very well, and has drawn a rather strong reaction from some of the public. And the only way some of his (increasingly frustrated and disappointed) supporters can explain that reaction is that the opposition is motivated by irrational fear, if not insanity—hence the second premise so powerfully evident at Saturday’s rally. Cynicism is the opposite side of the coin of naiveté, and we have seen both powerfully on display on the left in the past two years.

But Obama’s opponents are not motivated by irrational fear. They (or rather, we) are motivated by deep concern about the direction of the country and by a commitment to some key American ideals, as we understand them. Yes, the resulting politics can be messy, and can even have some occasional ugly edges (though no more ugly than, say, carrying signs depicting the only Jewish Republican in Congress as a Nazi, as one of Stewart’s fans did on Saturday), but it’s fundamentally a serious and reasonable response to the direction of public policy in recent years. It may be unwieldy, it may be mistaken, and it is surely still groping for a concrete policy agenda, but it is neither irrational nor a joke.

As long as liberals see their opposition as merely a travesty of sensible politics, they will have no answer to it. It seems likely that tomorrow’s election will show them what the consequences of that look like.

Jay Nordlinger follows up with an equally impressive piece:

A theme of mine, the last few weeks, has been the horror of Bill Clinton on the stump. I have a piece in our current issue: “The Big He, Not for Me: A word against Clinton nostalgia.” Just now, I have received an e-mail from a reader in Saratoga Springs, N.Y. He writes,
“Our town had the dubious honor of a Clinton appearance today. He was stumping for Congressman Scott Murphy. The local news keeps playing a portion of his speech, complaining that this is a ‘fact-free election.’ Because, you know, 2008 was so fact-filled. Sigh.”
“Sigh,” indeed. When the public goes for Democrats, as in 2006 and 2008, they’re brilliant. When they go for Republicans — they have abandoned reason, science, facts, sanity . . . The sheer arrogance and condescension of these Democrats ought to put voters off them for a good long while. At least through Tuesday, I hope.

The pendulum always swings, but after the rah-rah, feel good, hopeychangey election in 2008 that brought us Captain Kickass, it's pretty amazing how quickly the pendulum has swung back in the opposite direction. It's even more impressive that the GOP has been able to put Obama on the defensive pretty much until the last minute before the election tomorrow.

Still, the electorate's opinion of the GOP isn't great. This election is more about the incompetence and insane policy preferences of the Left than it is the Right. Now it's time for the Republicans to actually do something positive with their power. First on the list is stopping Obama. Next is positive governance. And governing is always harder than campaigning.

Sanity

2010-10-31T17:44:00.007-04:00

Yeah, um, not so much.

Here's a sampling of the views shared by the some of the idiots who were in attendance at the Jon Stewart-Stephen Colbert "rally" yesterday on the National Mall [all emphasis and Red text added]:

[F]for the vast majority of people in the crowd who were liberal Democrats, the only "insanity" they see in American politics comes from the right. Laura Bergdoll of Lithonia, Georgia said Sarah Palin comes to mind as someone who is “insane.” “She scares me,” Bergdoll said. “I love Nancy Pelosi, I’m a huge fan of Pelosi.”

Bergdoll's husband John held a sign that read “All things considered, I pay a reasonable (if not low) amount of taxes.” A graduate student at Georgia Tech, Bergdoll said he paid about 33 percent in income taxes at his last job. So what would be an unreasonable tax rate? “For the rich, I don’t think you get high enough until about sixty, sixty-five-ish,” he said.

This one is fucking priceless: “[Barack Obama’s] made some progress, but the dude’s got to dig out of a big hole,” said an Obama voter from Maryland. “We need him to do what he asked us to make him do what he said he was going to do in the campaign.”

Yep.

"Million moderate march," huh, Jon? Where's my eyeroll smiley when I need it?

Well, at least Stewart "tried" to get his lemmings to follow his half-baked orders:

“Stop shouting, stop throwing things, stop drawing Hitler mustaches on people who are not Hitler,” he told his audience [on September 16, 2010].

Apparently these people didn't get the message:

See that guy in the bottom right hand corner of the sign? That's Eric Cantor.

He's fucking Jewish. And apparently a Nazi as well? *sigh*

Oh, but there's more.

Code Pink, a beacon of "sanity," was there [emphasis added]:

About a dozen members of Code Pink dressed like characters from Alice in Wonderland — probably to highlight connection between the Mad Hatter and his liking for tea — and berated President Obama for continuing the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. “I think we’re a fascist state,” Jenefer Ellingston, one of the protesters, told me.

In honor of Halloween (I presume), Death was there...and apparently Death is a liberal:

Funny?

But it begs a different question: where was Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's sanity rally back in 2004-2008 when the shrill (and unhinged) cries of the Left dominated the news cycle - and their own shows?

Of course, that's a rhetorical question. As one of the signs dubiously stated, “Sanity has a well-known liberal bias.” And apparently "sanity" only needs to be restored when the political winds shift against Stewart and his lemmings.

That tells you all you need to know about the idiocy on display on the mall yesterday. And all you need to know about the integrity and inconsistency of Stewart and Colbert, as well as their disingenuous characters.

Never fear, though, chubies. Sanity will be restored. It begins on Tuesday.

P.S. God bless Texas:

That was no sissy pitch like someone we know...

Haha. The highest rated comment is hilarious:

That pitch needs to come with a free box of tampons.

Obama sucks.

Purdue

2010-10-23T16:05:00.012-04:00

49-0. What the fuck? Where was that effort last week, Buckeyes?

*Sigh*

What a wasted opportunity. I'm still not over that bullshit.

Time for my UFC 121 predictions, including the big Brock Lesnar-Cain Velasquez heavyweight title fight. I skipped UFC 120 because it was last Saturday and it was on tape delay from the UK. Fucking ESPN ruined the event for everyone in the US by running the results before it aired on Spike TV. Assholes.

So, without further ado, my UFC 121 predictions are as follows:

Brendan Schaub v. Gabriel Gonzaga - Brendan Schaub was the runner-up during The Ultimate Fighter Season 10, losing to Roy Nelson in the Finals by KO, but he's won two in a row since. Gonzaga, on the other hand, has been hit or miss. He scored a vicious KO win over Mirko "Cro-Cop" Filipovic back at UFC 70, but has gone 3-4 since. Gonzaga's not that exciting, but he's too big and too seasoned against higher-caliber opposition and he'll grind out a decision victory over the younger Schaub.
Tito Ortiz v. Matt Hamill - Tito Ortiz is old and broken. He's also an asshole and one of my least favorite ~~fighters~~ people. Matt Hamill on the other hand is a young, solid fighter with excellent wrestling skills and some improving stand-up. Tito's gameplan, as always, will be to take Hamill down and ground-and-pound out a victory. The problem for him is that Hamill is going to prove tough to take down. Ortiz is tough to finish, but it's happened. I'll take Hamill via unanimous decision also.
Paulo Thiago v. Diego Sanchez - Diego Sanchez is an undersized welterweight who relies on his pesky wrestling and takedowns to wear down his opponents. Thiago's a master jui-jitsu fighter with a rudimentary, but improving stand-up game. Even if Sanchez is able to take him down, that's probably where Thiago is the most dangerous. Diego's only been stopped once ever and that was by BJ Penn. I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict that Thiago adds himself to that very short list as he grasps onto a choke and makes Sanchez tap out.
Jake Shields v. Martin Kampmann - Shields is making his UFC debut against an incredibly tough opponent in Martin Kampmann. There aren't many holes in Kampmann's game, but there weren't many in Dan Henderson's either and Shields dominated him in Rounds 2-5 in his last fight in Strikeforce. Shields may be making his UFC debut, but he's no rookie and he's a tough son of a bitch. I'll take Shields via referee stoppage/TKO in Round 2.
Brock Lesnar v. Cain Velasquez - And the main event for the UFC Heavyweight Championship. Velasquez is undefeated in his career and poses an incredibly difficult challenge for the champion. His resume really isn't as impressive until you get to his last fight where he blew through Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. He's smaller than Lesnar but he has an excellent stand-up fighting game, much more refined than Lesnar's last opponent, Shane Carwin. Velasquez, however is not nearly as big or as strong as Carwin was. Lesnar, though, just keeps getting better every time out, as this is only his 7th professional fight. Since entering the UFC, he's faced either top-tier or 2nd-tier opposition from his first fight on. Lesnar proved in his last fight that he can take a beating and still come back from adversity. I see this one going back and forth for a bit, but I think that Lesnar's size and strength will prove too much for Velasquez unless the champion gasses out. I believe that Lesnar will finish Velasquez off before that happens via a TKO in Round 3.

As always, check back later chubies to see how I did.

Addendum: Here we go!

Brendan Schaub v. Gabriel Gonzaga - Schaub easily wins the first two rounds before slowing down in the 3rd. Gonzaga never really did much but cover up and throw a single counter punch after trying to avoid each combination. He then fought the third round without any sense of urgency. Schaub dominated with his hands. Blah. Unsurprisingly, I start o-1. - Schaub wins via unanimous decision, 30-27 on all scorecards.
Tito Ortiz v. Matt Hamill - After a close Round 1 where Tito landed more strikes but the less physically effective ones, Matt Hamill dominated the 2nd round, including approximately 90 seconds of ground and pound both from guard and side control. The first 3 minutes of the 3rd round were fairly uneventful until Hamill took Ortiz back down and landed some semi-effective ground and pound to seal the victory. - Hamill wins via unanimous decision, 29-28, 29-28, and 30-27.
Paulo Thiago v. Diego Sanchez -Great fight! Thiago dominated Round 1 with his jiu jitsu and ground and pound as well as winning most of the stand-up. But Diego stormed back in Round 2 and may have earned a 10-8 round with a feverish pace of strikes, ground and pound, position advances and submission attempts. Going into Round 3, it was anyone's fight and the best fight of the night so far. In the 3rd Round, Sanchez just took control and simply smothered Thiago. Diego took it to his opponent the entire round. Paulo had a glimpse of an opportunity to grab a possible submission once or twice but those windows quickly closed. - Sanchez via unanimous decision, 29-26, 29-28, and 29-28.
Jake Shields v. Martin Kampmann - Shields performed solidly, if not that impressively in his UFC debut. Had he not gassed in the last 6-7 minutes of the fight, it might not have been that close of a fight, but his jiu jitsu, grappling and control on the ground helped secure the victory for Shields. This was not a remarkable fight for either fighter, but it was a jiu jitsu/grappling clinic. If Kampmann had kept the fight on its feet in the 3rd Round instead of taking Shields down, he may have earned himself a decision; instead, Shields won via split decision, 28-29, 30-27, and 29-28.
Brock Lesnar v. Cain Velasquez - for the UFC Heavyweight Championship. Whether I go 3-2 or 2-3 comes down to this fight! Lesnar came out quick and took Velasquez down but couldn't keep him there. Velasquez popped up and was taken down again by Lesnar before bouncing right back up. Velasquez landed a big knee before knocking Brock to the ground and pouring on the punches. Referee Herb Dean stopped the fight as Lesnar was getting beat up badly. I think it was a bit premature in terms of a stoppage but it may have simply been delaying the inevitable. The winner by TKO in Round 1 and your new UFC Heavyweight Champion: Cain Velasquez.

Once again, I finish sub .500. I suck at these predictions. Blah.

Follow Up

2010-10-22T00:41:00.004-04:00

Ha. After my last post, this is perfect:

I'm a particularly big fan of the lines:

F: I love the Constitution.
M: If you say it's a living, breathing document, I may kill myself.
F: But, it is.
M: Oh, no. You're going to make me orphan my daughter. I haven't seen her in 3 years.

The rest of it is pretty funny too. I like being an attorney, but I certainly wouldn't recommend it to someone who doesn't know with absolute certainty that he wants to be a lawyer.

Principle

2010-10-20T17:35:00.009-04:00

Ugh. Here's an example of exactly the type of broken thinking that causes me to refrain from wading into the shallow end of the pool with my co-workers whenever political or pseudo-political conversations occur.

This is not a verbatim recreation of the conversation two of my co-workers had in front of me at lunch, but it is a pretty damn close paraphrasing:

S: [The name of a former co-worker] is a pretty hardcore libertarian. He doesn't believe in interpreting the constitution. He thinks we should amend it liberally instead if we want to change something.
B: That drives me crazy. It reminds me of when Clarence Thomas spoke at my law school. Someone asked him whether slavery was illegal before the Constitution was amended and he said, "No." Now that's some pretty staunch adherence to principle!
Both of them: *laugh*

Holy fuck.

That tells you almost everything you need to know about "liberals" and "conservatives" when it comes to Constitutional interpretation.

Liberals think ~~they should be able to~~ we should shoehorn views into the Constitution that ~~they~~ we believe to be desirable. If the constitution is silent, just find some amorphous, vague provision and interpret it in such a way that you get what you want.

Conservatives on the other hand think the Constitution says and means what it says and means: that the words contained therein actually mean something. It's not a living, breathing document that can be finagled to mean whatever the reader wants it to mean. Of course, the words in the constitution are open to some interpretation, but not whatever the hell we want them to mean. It has its limits - and it does not touch every issue that we might want it to cover in a democratic society.

I mean, what the fuck?

I have no idea what Clarence Thomas actually said since I wasn't there, but under my co-worker's own version, Thomas gave a completely consistent answer (in line with his Constitutional theory of interpretation of original meaning, not original intent, which many people falsely believe is the foundation of Thomas' theory of interpretation) which means that had he been alive before the 13th Amendment, he (as a black man) would have been subject to slavery; this is obviously a position that would be quite undesirable for him at the time - and my co-worker was opining that this principled answer was somehow a bad thing!

That's just fucking baffling. Strict adherence to principle...is a bad thing?

That's one of the single dumbest criticisms of conservative Constitutional interpretation I've ever heard.

In other words, what the fuck good is a principle unless you adhere to it?

Let me be even more clear: what the fuck good is a principle unless you adhere to it...when it's not fucking convenient or expedient for you to do so?

That's what a principle IS! That's the whole fucking point!

What are you when you hold onto a principle but jettison it the moment its result become undesirable? A fucking hypocrite. And being a hypocrite is a far more egregious violation of our political "rules" than being a man of principle. At least I thought so until now. I guess you learn something new every day.

Slavery was a lot of things: it was obviously horrible; it was (and continues to be) a significant scar on American history; it was an abominable practice perpetuated by human beings on other human beings merely based on race; most importantly, it was quite immoral.

But it was not illegal before the 13th Amendment. A "fairly" intense war was fought (in large part) over slavery's existence; and thankfully the winning side, in effect, forced the 13th Amendment upon the losers. But the Amendment was most certainly necessary in order to make slavery illegal. Why was it necessary? Because the Constitution didn't fucking say anything about it! Nor did any other law at the time. The reason the Constitution was amended in such a fashion was because Abraham Lincoln feared that the Emancipation Proclamation might prove insufficient to outlaw slavery.

Back to my original point: what a broken view of political discourse. Classically, one criticizes his political opponents because he believes they are wrong or because they do not actually ascribe to the views they claim to hold, i.e., hypocrisy. Either of those is completely legitimate. But to criticize a political opponent because he holds a logically and rationally consistent position? This proves too much.

Of course, my co-workers' argument contains, underneath it all, the premise that the libertarian ex-co-worker and Clarence Thomas are both wrong - but they should make that argument if they can (which they can, but not convincingly), not some petty criticism that a libertarian or a conservative is actually what he says he is.

Holy shit, the import of the Constitution's text is limited to what it says and means even when the results mean something bad for me? That's not a criticism. That's a virtue.

Ugh indeed.

Happy 200th Musing, chubies.

199

2010-10-16T17:19:00.042-04:00

This marks my 199th blog post! w00t! Thanks for sticking along for the ride to ~~all~~ my loyal reader s.

I never thought I'd stick with it this long. There have been a few lulls along the way, but I've been pretty consistent in updating the blog 5-8 times a month since its inception in March of 2008.

In honor of the upcoming momentous achievement of my 200th blog post and to commemorate the big Ohio State-Wisconsin game tonight, I'm breaking out a rarely used device: the running diary.

Now, I said last November that I'd probably not do another running diary of an OSU game since it took away from my enjoyment of the game itself, but I don't plan on doing this one in the same vein. During last year's OSU-Iowa game, I almost did a play-by-play of the game as the timestamps indicate. Tonight, I intend to only highlight the big plays, big moments or otherwise noteworthy observations during the game. Let's see how it goes!

But first, I'm off to the gym to get some treadmilling in. Then, it'll be time for alcohol, unhealthy food of some stripe and Ohio State football.

Kickoff is at 7 p.m. EST. You can follow along with the big game on ESPN. See you close to kickoff, chubies!

Go Bucks! Fuck Wisconsin!

6:45 p.m. - Just back from the gym. 42:00, 3.80 miles. We'll get back to 10 minute miles one of these days. Time to get in the shower.

7:00 p.m. - And we're live from Camp Randall! Brent Musburger and Kirk Herbstreit will call the game. C'mon Buckeyes!!!

7:06 p.m. - Buckeyes kick off and Badgers return the kickoff for a touchdown. Fuck. Not a good start.

Wisconsin 7, Ohio State 0

I blame the fact that I had no OSU paraphernalia on yet.

7:12 p.m. - 4 and out. Fuck this shit.

Let's go defense.

7:19 p.m. - This is getting ugly. John Clay marched right down the field. Touchdown, Wisconsin.

Wisconsin 14, Ohio State 0

Fucking horrible. They should not be letting John Clay beat them. Make Scott Tolzein throw the fucking ball. Get 7-8 men in the box every defensive down!

7:30 p.m. - Wisconsin gets lucky. After one of their DB's raped Stoneburner, he dropped the ball on 3rd and 10. Fucking horrible missed penalty.

7:45 p.m. - This is pretty much just total domination by Wisconsin so far. They're just running the ball straight at OSU and imposing their will.

End of the 1st Quarter:

Wisconsin 14, Ohio State 0

7:51 p.m. - John Clay jumps the line for another touchdown. Fucking bullshit.

Wisconsin 21, Ohio State 0

8:04 p.m. - OSU puts together its best series of the game, drives within the 5 yard line and can't score a TD after some dubious playcalling by Tressel and have to settle for a FG. Fucking weak.

Wisconsin 21, Ohio State 3

8:14 p.m. - OSU interception!!! That was fucking important as all hell. And a flag. It's a personal foul on Wisconsin. WE HAVE TO FUCKING CAPITALIZE ON THIS!!!

8:17 p.m. - Nope. 3 and out and a fucking missed FG. Fuck this shit.

8:27 p.m. - Some horrible clock management at the end by Jim Tressel and OSU wastes a chance to have the ball at the end of the half. Fucking bullshit.

End of 1st Half:

Wisconsin 21, Ohio State 3

I'm gonna go kill myself and do some shots...probably not in that order. If I'm not back at the start of the 2nd half, you know what's up. Fuck me.

8:41 p.m. - Time to kick off the comeback and time to do it now. OSU has to have points on the opening 2nd half drive. Let's go, Buckeyes! I still believe!

8:48 p.m. - And we're back underway. OSU has to have 7 here. An absolute must.

8:56 p.m. - Boom takes the direct snap and goes 13 yards for the TD. That was huge.

Wisconsin 21, Ohio State 10

NOW the fucking D has to step up.

9:03 p.m. - Classic OSU defense: bend, but don't break. Big stop on 3rd and 2 to force the punt. However, now OSU is back on their 6 yard line. C'mon Terrelle. 94 yard TD drive. Let's do this shit!

9:14 p.m. - Time for Jump Around at the end of the 3rd Quarter. A Wisconsin tradition for 10+ years.

Still, Buckeyes with a 1st and 10 on the Wisconsin 20 yard line, within striking distance. We're still alive.

End of 3rd Quarter:

Wisconsin 21, Ohio State 10

Fuck me.

9:24 p.m. - Boom with a big TD after a long drive plus the 2 pt. conversion. OSU back in this one: 21-18. Fucking unbelieveable.

Wisconsin 21, Ohio State 18

Holy shit.

9:35 p.m. - Wisconsin marches down the field and scores a TD on the ground. Takes back a commanding lead. Fucking hell.

Wisconsin 28, Ohio State 18

We need a small miracle.

9:40 p.m. - Ohio State punts after a 3 and out. Only approximately 6 minutes left. The game is pretty much over barring a turnover by Wisconsin.

9:43 p.m. - Wisconsin with a big play-action pass gain into OSU territory. That may have finished the game.

9:46 p.m. - Wisconsin driving. The game is now pretty much over barring a turnover by Wisconsin.

Fucking kill me.

9:50 p.m. - Some cocksucker from Wisconsin just kicked a FG to make it a 13 point lead. Fuck me.

Wisconsin 31, Ohio State 18

Goddamnit.

10:02 p.m. - A Terrelle Pryor pass is intercepted to seal the Wisconsin victory. Congratulations to the Wisconsin Badgers. They played a great game and deserved to win.

Final : Wisconsin 31, Ohio State 18.

I'm finally going to eat dinner and continue getting drunk.

Help

2010-10-12T20:28:00.004-04:00

Hang on, America, help is on the way for all of our foreign policy woes!

That's right: George Clooney met with Captain Kickass today!

FTFA:

Actor George Clooney paid a visit to the White House on Tuesday to meet with President Barack Obama and discuss his recent trip to southern Sudan.

Joining Clooney in the Oval Office meeting was Enough Project Co-Founder John Prendergast, who joined him outside of the West Wing after the meeting to talk to press.

Clooney said, "I think we're very impressed with how involved, at the highest level, this administration is and now our job is to try and continue to keep it in the press and keep it, to keep the light turned on for the next 90 days while we try and broker a peace deal, which is what they're working on right now.

The actor was heading to Capitol Hill to meet with Republican Indiana Sen. Dick Lugar, the ranking Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.

Oh dear God. What a joke. And what the fuck is wrong with Dick Luger? Oh, I know: he's a dick.

Alive

2010-10-07T19:55:00.009-04:00

Holy shit: that was a great concert!

A friend and I drove from NoVA up to Baltimore yesterday afternoon, checked into our hotel and then headed over to the inner harbor for dinner. With the help of some Jameson Irish Whiskey left over from the wedding, I was well on my way to being drunk. Fittingly, we decided to eat at Tir Na Nog, which is an Irish Pub.

I had the Maryland Crab Soup and a Reuben. The soup was alright, but nothing special. It was basically a vegetable soup with a bunch of crab tossed in. Cream based crab soups are typically much better. The Reuben, however, was delicious. I recommend it. It goes well with a few Sam Adams Boston Lagers.

Then we headed over to the venue. The tickets said the show started at 7 and I figured that'd mean an opening act would play before Anthrax but I was wrong. We walked in around 7:20 after hitting an ATM and Anthrax was mid-set. We grabbed a beer and headed toward the stage just in time to hear Anthrax finish with I Am The Law.

Anthrax only played around 35 minutes. I pretty shocked at that but what I heard sounded really good.

After the break, Megadeth took the stage and immediately launched into Holy Wars...The Punishment Due. Holy shit, that song is awesome live.

Actually, the whole Rust in Peace album is fantastic from start-to-finish, which is fortunate since Megadeth is "celebrating" this tour with Slayer by playing the album in its entirety from start-to-finish at every show. The last time these two bands toured together was in 1991, which was the year after Rust in Peace and Slayer's Seasons in the Abyss were both released. Slayer is doing the same with Seasons during the tour.

So Megadeth tore through the rest of Rust in Peace, which was awesome. Loud. Heavy. Fast. Just a great album and the band sounded great live.

Then, Dave Mustaine tried to shit on the whole performance. Instead of staying with good songs off of any of Megadeth's other best albums Peace Sells...But Who's Buying?, So Far, So Good, So What!, Countdown to Extinction, or even off of either of the bands more recent albums, Megadeth launched into this shit. Sucks. There was hope for a moment that Dave would get things back on track with when they next played Head Crusher, but oh no. Wrong. Megadeth crapped all over itself by playing this abortion:

Goddamn, that song sucks 8 ways from Sunday. Some of its lyrics are in French, which sucks. It's slow, which sucks. It's sorta gay, which is not metal and which sucks. I could go on and on. The whole Youthanasia album is one that should be forever jettisoned into metal music's graveyard and never played again. It says a lot when a band that's been tearing people's faces off and had a couple fairly vicious mosh pits going plays some crap that gets the whole crowd to stop moving, look on in horror and collectively tell the band to Fuck Off by not reacting. I mean, where the mosh pit had been, a few people laid down on the ground in protest. Just sad.

So, Dave, I beg of you: If you care about your fans at all, don't subject any more of us to that shit. Stop it. Just stop playing it and maybe, maybe, we can forgive you for ever having written it.

That's Dave rocking, not pooping.

After that French shit, Megadeth closed the show with Symphony of Destruction and Peace Sells, both great tunes, and a great finish to what was an otherwise great set, but for the two missteps.

Another intermission, curtains down, equipment switched over and then the headliners came hit the stage with:

Holy fuck, I love Slayer. With every member in the band closing in on 50, they still kick so much ass. They are one of the best live bands ever. Just an amazing energy.

Loud. Heavy. Fast.

After playing two new songs, Slayer launched into Seasons in the Abyss with Tom Araya's scream of Waaaaaaaaaaaaaar Ensemble!

Indeed. While no Slayer fan would argue that Seasons in the Abyss is their best album (as that honor undoubtedly goes to Reigning Blood), it's still a fantastic album. A particular favorite of mine is:

Slayer shredded through the rest of Seasons in the Aybss, played South of Heaven, Raining Blood and Aggressive Perfector, a song which they don't play that often anymore.

And finally, it was time for Slayer's swansong:

That song never gets old. Just brutal thrash metal that kicks your ass and gets a pretty violent mosh pit kicked up another notch. Tom can't hit that high note at the beginning anymore, but the music is still as crisp as ever live. Just awesome.

An awesome, awesome show that was amazingly over at almost exactly 11 p.m. I'm not sure if the venue or if Baltimore has a law that requires concerts to end by 11, but it was curious to me that things started, and ended, so early. A fantastic concert though. I lost 2 beers from people bouncing into me on the outskirts of the pit, probably got a bit of a contact buzz from the nearby pot smokers between Megadeth and Slayer, and was covered in sweat and beer by the end of the night. At one point during Slayer's set, some dude shoved me in the pit and I started to fall. I grabbed him reflexively and pulled him down with me. He didn't appreciate that much and threw a punch at my head. I got both hands up in time and deflected the punch completely. Contemporaneously, people grabbed him and pulled him off me and picked me up. I was pretty pissed about it immediately thereafter, but it's sorta funny in hindsight, especially since I didn't get hit. That's metal, folks!

Then the night got interesting...

At some point during the night, I believe it must have been between Anthrax and Megadeth, though it may have been between Megadeth and Slayer, my friend and I met this guy (whose name we either never got or which we've forgotten) and his friend, Jen (who had great boobs). We talked to them during the intermission and my friend hung out with them while I was in the pit or running to the bar, etc.

Well, after the show, they invited us out to a bar. Since the concert was over at 11 and we wanted to keep drinking (and continue looking at Jen's great boobs), we took them up on their offer. Problem is that they wanted to go to the bar where Jen worked, which was about 20 minutes away.

So, against our better judgment, colored by alcohol and our desire for more alcohol (and to continue seeing great boobs), we went to Jen's car in the parking garage.

It was a stick shift, and apparently she's only recently learned how to drive it because it was quite a bumpy ride. But, before that, let me start with the music. I love metal. Love it. But, I also like my ear drums, since they, you know, allow me to listen to metal, among other things.

Well, apparently Jen doesn't believe in any semblance of volume control because she was blasting Lamb of God at a level that would even make Satan himself uncomfortable. I shit you not, it was so loud, if I had attempted to speak to my friend, who was approximately 3 inches away from me, there is simply no way we would have even been able to tell that either of us was making a sound. Just crazy loud.

So, yeah, that was a bit scary. But, the driving was even scarier. More than once, Jen violently jerked the car from lane to lane. Her touch on the stick shift was pretty much non-existent. And at least 2 times, she turned the music down ever so briefly to roll down her window and yelled at pedestrians. Between all that and the fact that we were in this car with two people we had just met at a Megadeth/Slayer concert in the shithole of Baltimore, we both pretty much thought we had made a big mistake and might die.

Here is, verbatim, our text message conversation since we couldn't actually talk or hear one another:

Me: We're dead.
F: Yeah. It may be a 6 speed but she can't drive for shit
Me: We're dead.
F: Hope we get there soon. I'm getn nervous
F: Yeah.
F: Dead
Me: She better at least show us her tits before they kill us.
F: Agreed.
Me: Um, really? [I'm pretty sure this was after Jen jerked the car from lane to lane]
F: Roofied, raped. Then dead

I had the following text conversation with a friend/co-worker:

Me: We are dead.
J: Fuck. Think Debra will let me do laundry at her place? [Since he does his laundry at the home of the friend I was with]
Me: Really. Dead. I'm only like 10% joking. For real.
J: Can I have your Xbox games?
Me: No. You can have Bruno on DVD.

Dick.

I posted the following on Facebook:

I might die soon.

And the following on Twitter:

So, the concert awesome, but was over at 11. That is so not metal. We're about to get rolled by two Baltimore residents.
If I die, I leave everything to Kira. [My cat]

Finally, we made it to the bar. We went inside and Jen got us all drinks, including a couple shots (which we suspected might have roofies in them), but we drank them anyways because, well, it's rude to turn down free alcohol.

After about 25 minutes or so, we decided it was best that we should go. So my friend told them that she wasn't feeling well so we were going to head back to the hotel. We thanked them for the drinks and headed out onto the street to hail a cab.

20 minute cab ride back, we asked the cabbie if he knew of a good bar to drop us off at. Headed inside, had a couple beers...and about 20-30 minutes later, guess who walks in?

That's right, Jen and her anonymous friend.

Weird.

What are the odds? So, we hung out for a while longer with them, and by a while longer, I mean that we essentially closed the bar. They were actually pretty cool to hang out with, but that car ride was fucking scary.

Cab ride back to the hotel. I landed on the bed exhausted and fully clothed. The next thing I remember is waking up around 9 a.m., under the covers with all my clothes, including an overshirt, still on except for my pants and shoes. I then promptly went back to sleep until we left the hotel just before noon.

I'm not sure if it was the whiskey on the way there, the multiple beers I successfully navigated into my mouth at the concert (as contrasted with those rudely knocked from my grasp), the multiple beers after the show, or the roofie shots, but I was fucking uber-hungover all day. I'd say it's only been within the last hour or two that I've started to feel normal, though my ears are still ringing. It's impossible to know whether that's from the show or from the car ride.

So, an interesting night, a great concert, two new Baltimore friends who I'll never see again and we never did get to see Jen's boobs.

Oh well.

Addendum: Just to clear up any confusion, I love my wife, Debra, and her boobs the most, for real real.

American Carnage

2010-10-06T01:33:00.006-04:00

10/6/10 - Baltimore, Maryland.

Oh man, oh man, oh man.

I love [old] Megadeth. I love Anthrax although Joey Belladonna is back singing for them and he's no John Bush.

And I fucking love Slayer.

It's gonna be an awesome show.

Edit: Apparently the tour's been renamed the Jagermeister Music Tour. No matter: it's going to be fucking awesome regardless.

10/2/10

2010-10-04T09:51:00.005-04:00

I'm married. w00t!

Awesome weekend in Columbus, Ohio with my wife, my family, my friends and a trip into the Horseshoe to take pictures.

So, thus closes the book on my single days and opens a new chapter in life with Debra.

I'll try to upload some pictures later once I have them.

Mushroomhead

2010-09-28T23:19:00.004-04:00

Fuck yeah.

Last week: new Murderdolls album.

This week: new Mushroomhead album.

Can I successfully argue that one of these songs is wedding appropriate?

Doubt it with the Murderdolls...Mushroomhead possibly (but probably not).

Wish me luck!

P.S. This hidden Mushroomhead track always cracks me up:

Your records ain't evil, Joe!

P.P.S. Next week: Slayer concert!

Bam Fuck

2010-09-27T00:49:00.002-04:00

Time

2010-09-25T20:16:00.012-04:00

So, it's almost time. It's almost time for the wedding. It's also almost time for Season 5 of the AGE Hockey League.

I just built the most awesome spreadsheet using google documents. That shit is awesome. However, my eyes are now glazing over after working on the spreadsheet for the last several hours while OSU was beating the snot out of Eastern Michigan.

Then I realized I still needed to make my UFC predictions for tonight. Busy times, chubies, busy fucking times.

So, here are my UFC 119 predictions in red:

Melvin Guillard vs. Jeremy Stephens - Guillard is hit or miss. He's got great talent, but he often has lapses in judgment that cost him dearly. This should be a stand-up brawl for the most part, which means it should be fun. I'll take Stephens via TKO in Rd. 2.
Sean Sherk vs. Evan Dunham - Sherk is older, pretty much a one-dimensional fighter and hasn't fought since May 2009. Dunham is younger, more versatile and hungry. I don't see Sherk being finished, but I don't see him winning against the upstart Dunham. Dunham via unanimous decision.
Matt Serra v. Chris Lytle - Serra is a tough little bastard and is a difficult style match-up for Lytle. Lytle is a scrapper though and either one of these guys could KTFO the other. However, their last matchup was a fairly boring affair with Serra winning a split decision. This is a matchup of older fighters where Lytle has been more active the last several years. I see Lytle taking this via ref stoppage in Rd. 3.
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira v. Ryan Bader - This is a tough fight to pick. If classic Minotoro shows up, he might still have problems Bader who has proven to be a very promising new fighter. This is definitely a step up for Bader though as he's never fought anyone of the same caliber as Nogueira. I think Nogueira uses his experience to grind out a decision victory and gives Bader his first loss.
Frank Mir v. Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic - Cro Cop provided highlight after highlight after highlight during his tenure in Pride FC, but it appears time may have caught up with him as he has slowed down precipitously. He has simply not been as quick to attack or able to take advantage of openings when they're provided to him. Mir is the more well-rounded fighter as his BJJ skills and ground skills are far superior to Cro Cop's. If he can keep this on the feet, Cro Cop still has the power to put Mir away. However, Mir has more ways to win this fight as his stand-up is improved and he owns this fight on the ground. It's probably only a matter of time before Mir clinches with Cro Cop and drags him to the ground. Cro Cop is hard to submit, but if he finds himself on his back, he's probably screwed. I'll be rooting for Cro Cop, but I foresee a Mir victory via submission in Rd. 2.

Let's see how I do this time. It'd be nice to come out above 50% for a change.

Addendum: Well, not off to a good start:

Melvin Guillard vs. Jeremy Stephens - Guillard def. Stephens via Split Decision. Guillard earned a very close split decision with scores 29-28, 28-29 and 3o-27. I can see a 29-28 Guillard win, but the judge who scored that fight 30-27 was not paying attention to the last round. Either way, I start off 0-1. Boo.
Sean Sherk vs. Evan Dunham - Sherk def. Dunham via Split Decision. Wow. Great fight. Sherk hit Dunham with a brutal elbow over the right eye in Rd. 1 and split him wide open. He was bleeding like the proverbial stuck pig, thereby negating multiple submission attempts by Dunham. The second round continued in much the same way with Sherk going for takedowns and opening another cut over Dunham's left eye. But in the last 2 minutes of the round, Dunham put on a striking clinic battering Sherk. In the final round, Dunham beat the shit out of Sherk for the last 3 minutes after Sherk scored a few takedowns but without doing much damage. I would have given the decision to Sherk, but it was a great fight. Still, I'm 0-2. Goddamnit.
Matt Serra v. Chris Lytle - Lytle def. Serra via Unanimous Decision. 3 fights so far, 3 decisions. Lytle almost ended this one in the 2nd round but Serra is a tough son of a bitch. He took shot after shot and just kept coming. Lytle gets me in the W column: 1-2.
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira v. Ryan Bader - Bader def. Nogueira via Unanimous Decision. Solid fight, but nothing spectacular. Bader grinds out a workmanlike decision. That drops me to 1-3. Apparently, I suck at this. I really hope to finish 1-4. I'd love to see Cro Cop pull out the next one.
Frank Mir v. Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic -Mir via KO in Round 3. That fight was fucking horrible. Neither man went after the other hardly at all. The first two rounds were boring, boring, boring. It was so bad that Rogan and Goldberg were ragging on the fighters for not doing anything of note and, at one point, Rogan apologized to the viewers. All of a sudden in the third round, Cro Cop approached Mir, threw a couple punches and left himself open to a knee. Mir grabbed him by the back of the neck, pulled the head down and blasted Cro Cop with a knee, then landed a few punches to a defenseless Cro Cop on the ground before Herb Dean stepped in and stopped the fight. A good finish, but the first 13 and 1/2 minutes were horrible.

Well, I finished 2-3 this time. It's funny how mediocre cards on paper can turn out to be great cards and great cards on paper can turn out to be far less than great. Unfortunately, tonight was the latter.

Sherk-Dunham and Serra-Lytle were both solid fights even though Dunham got robbed. Guillard-Stephens and Nogueira-Bader were decent fights. Mir-Filipovic was atrocious.

Oh well: more often than not, the UFC fights deliver. Tonight was not their best night overall but the law of averages dictates that the next one will make up for it.

Droid X

2010-09-23T23:07:00.003-04:00

Goodbye Blackberry, Hello Droid X.

This thing is pretty fucking sweet.

I received mine on Tuesday. Fed Ex delivered it to work...and apparently just handed it to one of our interns as he was roaming the halls.

"Hey, you going up to the Fifth Floor?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, here."

Asshole. Could have ended up in anyone's hands. It's not like I put a fucking suite number and office title in the shipping address.

Nevertheless, the Droid ultimately made its way to its rightful owner and I've spent the last two nights tinkering with it, installing apps and looking for different configurations.

It's pretty slick. Problem is, I could spend, and have spent, hours comparing the different browsers, the different social media apps, and the hundreds of other random programs available.

I'm loving it so far. The Blackberry was great for a while, but the Droid X is in another league.

Oh yeah, Fuck Apple.

Unsworth

2010-09-14T00:33:00.001-04:00

Miami

2010-09-11T14:35:00.004-04:00

Goddamn, that concert was awesome.

But, for now, it's almost time for OSU-Miami.

Fuck Miami. Fuck the Canes. Go Bucks!

O-H!

Round 2

2010-09-09T23:15:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow night!

9:30 Club in D.C.!

Iced Earth!!!

Oh man, oh man, oh man!

I'ma get drunk. I'ma hear the best metal has to offer.

I love this fucking band.

In other IE related posts:

O-H!

2010-09-01T22:49:00.006-04:00

Tomorrow begins college football 2010! I can't fucking wait!

Drive, Drive on down the field,
Men of the scarlet and gray,
Don't let them through that line,
We've got to win this game today,
COME ON - OHIO!
Smash through to victory,
We cheer you as you go!
Our honor defend, we will fight to the end
For O-HI-O (STATE)!

O-H!

Fuck Michigan!

Krauthammer

2010-08-30T00:13:00.002-04:00

Charles Krauthammer is a splendid thinker. His latest column, "The Last Refuge of the Liberal, over at NRO is fantastic. FTFA:

Liberalism under siege is an ugly sight indeed. Just yesterday it was all hope and change and returning power to the people. But the people have proved so disappointing. Their recalcitrance has, in only 19 months, turned the predicted 40-year liberal ascendancy (James Carville) into a full retreat. Ah, the people, the little people, the small-town people, the “bitter” people, as Barack Obama in an unguarded moment once memorably called them, clinging “to guns or religion or” — this part is less remembered — “antipathy toward people who aren’t like them.”

That’s a polite way of saying: clinging to bigotry. And promiscuous charges of bigotry are precisely how our current rulers and their vast media auxiliary react to an obstreperous citizenry that insists on incorrect thinking.
● Resistance to the vast expansion of government power, intrusiveness, and debt, as represented by the tea-party movement? Why, racist resentment toward a black president.

● Disgust and alarm with the federal government’s unwillingness to curb illegal immigration, as crystallized in the Arizona law? Nativism.

● Opposition to the most radical redefinition of marriage in human history, as expressed in Proposition 8 in California? Homophobia.

● Opposition to a 15-story Islamic center and mosque near Ground Zero? Islamophobia.

Now we know why the country has become “ungovernable,” last year’s excuse for the Democrats’ failure of governance: Who can possibly govern a nation of racist, nativist, homophobic Islamophobes?

Note what connects these issues. In every one, liberals have lost the argument in the court of public opinion. Majorities — often lopsided majorities — oppose President Obama’s social-democratic agenda (e.g., the stimulus, Obamacare), support the Arizona law, oppose gay marriage, and reject a Ground Zero mosque.

What’s a liberal to do? Pull out the bigotry charge, the trump that preempts debate and gives no credit to the seriousness and substance of the contrary argument. The most venerable of these trumps is, of course, the race card. When the tea party arose, a spontaneous, leaderless, and perfectly natural (and traditionally American) reaction to the vast expansion of government intrinsic to the president’s proudly proclaimed transformational agenda, the liberal commentariat cast it as a mob of angry white yahoos disguising their antipathy to a black president by cleverly speaking in economic terms.

Then came Arizona and SB 1070. It seems impossible for the Left to believe that people of good will could hold that: (a) Illegal immigration should be illegal; (b) the federal government should not hold border enforcement hostage to comprehensive reform, i.e., amnesty; and (c) every country has the right to determine the composition of its immigrant population.

As for Proposition 8, is it so hard to see why people might believe that a single judge overturning the will of 7 million voters is an affront to democracy? And that seeing merit in retaining the structure of the most ancient and fundamental of all social institutions is something other than an alleged hatred of gays — particularly since the opposite-gender requirement has characterized virtually every society in all the millennia until just a few years ago?

And now the Ground Zero mosque. The intelligentsia is near unanimous that the only possible ground for opposition is bigotry toward Muslims. This smug attribution of bigotry to two-thirds of the population hinges on the insistence of a complete lack of connection between Islam and radical Islam, a proposition that dovetails perfectly with the Obama administration’s pretense that we are at war with nothing more than “violent extremists” of inscrutable motive and indiscernible belief. Those who reject this as both ridiculous and politically correct (an admitted redundancy) are declared Islamophobes, the ad hominem du jour.

It is a measure of the corruption of liberal thought and the collapse of its self-confidence that, finding itself so widely repudiated, it resorts reflexively to the cheapest race-baiting (in a colorful variety of forms). Indeed, how can one reason with a nation of pitchfork-wielding mobs brimming with “antipathy toward people who aren’t like them” — blacks, Hispanics, gays, and Muslims — a nation that is, as Michelle Obama once put it succinctly, “just downright mean”?

The Democrats are going to get beaten badly in November. Not just because the economy is ailing. And not just because Obama overread his mandate in governing too far left. But because a comeuppance is due the arrogant elites whose undisguised contempt for the great unwashed prevents them from conceding a modicum of serious thought to those who dare oppose them.

There's no replacement for William Buckley, but Krauthammer fills much of the void. That last sentence is so absolutely true. I work with multiple knee-jerk liberals who consistently ascribe the most base, vile motives to anyone to the right of Charlie Crist. They toss around words like "racist" far too flippantly, such that it loses most of its meaning, such that true claims of racism are thereby diluted.

It's exhausting to deal with such blatant close-mindedness by people who claim to be so open-minded. Yeah, open-minded as long as you agree with them. One cannot disagree with Captain Kickass, his policies, or the general policy preferences of liberals writ large without being a bigot of some sort. There are exceptions to this generalization, of course, as generalizations are built to admit exceptions, but the last 8 years, particularly the last 2, have convinced me that most liberals cannot fathom that anyone could hold views contrary to theirs without being motivated by bigotry.

I don't, and I don't believe most conservatives, view liberals as being motivated by ulterior motives; rather, we just think their judgment is fucking broken. That charitable view is rarely returned, which is why I keep my mouth shut about politics almost exclusively at work, such that I vent about it here from time to time.

You're welcome, chubies.

4 days until College Football.

5 days until New Orleans!

Blah

2010-08-28T20:25:00.012-04:00

So, I've worked every fucking day since August 9th and my next day off will be next Friday when I board a flight to New Orleans for my bachelor party with Sallymonkeys and The Strak. Until then, I'm stuck working on an appeal for some asshole that doesn't really deserve it, although I think he actually has a couple solid appellate issues. And I guess tonight I'll get drunk and watch UFC 118.

Here are my abbreviated main-card picks in red:

Marcus Davis v. Nate Diaz - Marcus Davis has some explosive hands and some solid grappling/submission skills. Nate Diaz, like his brother, Nick Diaz, has a very effective boxing game relying on a number of punches, rather than the power behind them, and very solid jiu jitsu skills. Nate has a knack for having his ass kicked for a while before pulling a submission win out of nowhere, so he's never out of a fight. I think The Irish Hand Grenade's power proves too much though. - Davis via TKO in Rd. 2.
Kenny Florian v. Gray Maynard - Gray Maynard went to my high school's main rival, St. Edward High School. For that reason alone, I cannot pick Maynard. But in terms of fight analysis, though undefeated thus far, Maynard has won most of his recent fights by decision - and not that impressively. Florian will use his sharp elbows and cut Maynard open on his way to a referee stoppage. - Florian via stoppage in Rd. 3 setting up a title re-match with BJ Penn.
Demian Maia v. Mario Miranda - I don't know a thing about Miranda. Maia's ground game is exceptional. This is not an informed pick due to my lack of familiarity with Miranda, but that means it's a step up for him and Maia's jiu jitsu, grappling and submissions will carry the day. - Maia via submission in Rd. 2.
Randy Couture v. James Toney - James Toney is in for a rude awakening. A very good, if not great, professional boxer, Toney is going to be completely out of his element in the Octagon. No one should make their MMA debut against someone half as seasoned as Couture. Toney's only chance is to connect on a punch when Couture is on his way in. If Randy is even semi-careful, he will avoid said punch, take Toney down and either pound him out or submit him. I predict Toney quits at the first sight of adversity on the ground since he'll be in such unfamiliar territory. - Couture by submission in Rd. 1.
Frankie Edgar v. BJ Penn - This is a rematch of the Lightweight Championship match Edgar won by decision back in April. Edgar used his speed to get in, land some quick punches and get back out. Edgar didn't do much damage but BJ never really tried to him down and didn't do much affirmatively to score points. It was a high energy fight with not a lot of damage done by either man, Edgar taking the brunt of it, but also being more active despite inflicting less pain. I expect BJ to take things out of the judge's hands this time and finish Edgar via ground and pound to reclaim his title. Kenny Florian will then get his own shot at a title rematch. - Penn via stoppage in Rd. 2.

Check back later for the results and to see how I did.

P.S. Fuck St. Ed's. Go Cats!

Addendum: Actual Results:

Nate Diaz v Marcus Davis - Diaz via submission/ref stoppage in Rd. 3. Wow, Nate put a beating on Marcus Davis. He opened up a giant cut just above Davis' right eye in the first round, blew up that eye/cheek bone with repeated strikes over the next two rounds and secured a guillotine choke on the ground to finish the fight. Davis went to sleep instead of tapping, but the referee was quickly there to put a stop to the fight once Davis went out. A much more one-sided affair than I anticipated.
Kenny Florian v. Gray Maynard - Maynard via unanimous decision. Maynard won pretty much every phase of the game. He out struck, out grappled and out wrestled Florian. Florian had a few attempts towards slapping on submissions, but none were close. Maynard won going away to earn himself a shot at the winner of the main event.
Damian Maia v. Mario Miranda - Maia via unanimous decision. So, Maia gets me into the Win column with a one-sided grappling clinic over Miranda. Maia tried multiple times to finish the fight via submission but he could not cinch one in, narrowly losing the handle on a multiple arm bars. As boring a fight it was, it was equally as dominant by Maia. Time to watch the carnage:
Randy Couture v. James Toney - Couture via submission (Arm-Triangle Choke) in Rd. 1. Toney lasted longer than I expected but that was pretty academic. A takedown, subsequent methodical beatdown and a choke shortly thereafter. Welcome to MMA, Mr. Toney. I don't expect you to stick around.
Frank Edgar v. BJ Penn - Edgar by unanimous decision. Wow, that was not a very exciting fight, but it was very one-sided. Penn had no answer for Edgar. A workmanlike effort put in by Edgar to retain his title. All 3 judges saw it 50-45. Penn didn't win a round. Not a great fight, but I like the result since I fucking hate Penn. I'm glad to be wrong on this one.

2-3 again. Much like I would have been last time, I'm glad to be wrong on my main event pick. Instead of seeing a Penn-Florian rematch for the title, we get to see an Edgar-Maynard rematch where Maynard's prior victory is the only blemish on the champion's record so far.

Christie

2010-08-26T21:14:00.003-04:00

Chris Christie is fucking awesome:

Chemerinsky

2010-08-26T00:05:00.002-04:00

Erwin Chemerinsky is a squirrely douchebag.

Infinite

2010-08-12T21:24:00.003-04:00

This looks awesome. I hope the console version ends up looking close to the PC version.

Knees

2010-08-07T14:42:00.018-04:00

Fuck my knees.

They feel like they're falling apart. I've been jogging/running on a treadmill since the beginning of the year in an attempt to drop some weight before the wedding. Well, it's working, slowly, but recently my knees have felt really weak, they've hurt mainly after running but also during workouts the last few times and have been clicking/popping when I get up. This has become almost expected any time I sit down with my knees bent for any significant period of time. The left one seems to be worse this week, but it was the right one bothering me more last week.

Weird.

So yesterday, I tried to run and made it 4 minutes before deciding it wasn't worth it. I moved over to the elliptical because I figured it might put less pressure on and hurt less than the treadmill.

Well, it did certainly hurt less and it seemed to put less pressure on my knees, but when I finished, both knees, especially the right one, felt really weak as I stepped off the elliptical machine. Oh, and the last half hour on the machine, the toes on both feet, especially the ones on the outside of my feet, felt like they were falling asleep/going numb.

WTF?

Also, the fucking elliptical burns significantly fewer calories for the same amount of time. Even with pumping up the resistance as high as I felt I could handle, it was still a much less effective workout. I could just feel that the workout was less effective and the calorie count confirmed this feeling.

Ugh. So, I'm going to rest them today and maybe tomorrow and try jogging/running again on Monday. I really don't want to take any time off, especially since I ate a bunch of crap yesterday, but I think they need the rest.

We'll see.

Also, tonight is UFC 117 - and it's almost time to start drinking!

For UFC 116, I went 3-2 in terms of picks. Hopefully, tonight I do worse.

Yes, that's right. I hope to do worse. This is because the fighters I expect to win and the fighters I want to win are at odds. Here's the UFC 117 main card fights with my picks in red:

Roy Nelson v. Junior dos Santos - This match will determine who gets a heavyweight title shot against the winner of the Brock Lesnar-Cain Velasquez fight at UFC 121. dos Santos simply has too many ways to win this fight as he is so much more well-rounded and should not gas out like Nelson if the fight goes into the 3rd round. - dos Santos via TKO in Rd. 3.
Matt Hughes v. Ricardo Almeida - This is a fight where I hope my pick is wrong. I'm a big Matt Hughes fan, so I would really like to see him pull this one out, but I fear that time may have passed him by and that Almeida should be in a position to capitalize at some point. Hughes is not a very good stand-up fighter and his wrestling/takedowns seem to have lost something as he's gotten older. Almeida, on the other hand, is younger and more versatile at this point. He also has fewer miles on his body as this is only his 16th fight, whereas Hughes is in the 50s. Almeida has the edge on the feet, and even if he's taken down by Hughes, he has the ability to seize onto a submission from his back. Hughes' best chance is to take Almeida down and ground and pound out a win. I hope he does, but I think it's more likely that Almeida takes some shots but ends up getting Hughes in a choke and gets him to submit. - Almeida via triangle choke/armbar in Rd. 2.
Clay Guida v. Rafael dos Anjos - Neither of these guys is likely to knock the other out. I am not as familiar with dos Anjos as I am Guida. Clay is a fast starter and he pretty much keeps up that same fast pace through most of his fights. Both fighters have more submission wins than anything else. Guida, however, can be neutralized by a solid wrestling/jiu-jitsu game, which dos Anjos appears to have. I see dos Anjos taking control of this one and using Guida's aggressiveness against him. - dos Anjos via unanimous decision.
Jon Fitch v. Thiago Alves - Another #1 contender's match to determine who will face the winner of the Josh Koscheck-George St. Pierre welterweight championship fight later this year. Fitch is a great wrestler and grinds, grinds, grinds out wins by working harder and controlling his opponents with suffocating ground control. He's not likely to stop Alves unless he earns a referee stoppage by ground-and-pound. Alves is a much more versatile striker on the feet and he is tough to hold down on the ground. Fitch will succeed in taking Alves down but it's only a matter of time before Alves either escapes or forces a referee standup. On the feet, Alves will slowly chop away at Fitch's foundation with his brutal leg kicks and will eventually break him down on his way to a decisive decision. Then the issue will become whether or not he can actually make weight for his title shot. - Alves via unanimous decision.
Anderson Silva (c) v. Chael Sonnen - I can't stand Silva, but it is impossible to deny how great of a fighter he is, especially when he's trying. The corpses he's left in his wake over the last few years are many. Even when he's coasted to victory, none of his opponents have given him much of a challenge except for the first round of his fight against Dan Henderson. Sonnen, on the other hand, hasn't stopped anyone since 2007. I would love to see Sonnen give Silva the beating he deserves, but his only real chance to win is to take Silva down, hold him there, and ground-and-pound out a referee stoppage or a decision. However, Silva's solid off his back, where he can either latch onto a submission or work to gain an advantageous position. Sonnen has been submitted from top control on a few occasions. On the feet, Silva has a significant advantage as his striking is so accurate and crisp. My heart says Sonnen, but my head says Silva. I know who I'll be rooting for and I hope my pick is wrong, but: - Silva via TKO in Rd. 2.

Check back later for the results and to see how I did!

Addendum: Actual results:

Roy Nelson v. Junior dos Santos - dos Santos via unanimous decision, 30-26, 30-27, 30-27. As a fat guy, I am obligated to respect Big Country, but that was about as one-sided a fight as you could imagine where the loser didn't get knocked out. Lots of big shots absorbed by Nelson, but he was never really close to threatening dos Santos. Junior gets the winner of Lesnar-Velasquez - perhaps a dubious reward. For Nelson, being a big, tough fat guy is enough to win against a lot of MMA fighters, but not against the elite.
Matt Hughes v. Ricardo Almeida - Hughes via submission in Rd. 1. HOLY SHIT! Not a whole lot of action at first. Hughes was looking a bit uncomfortable on his feet before cracking Almeida with a left hook, then pouncing and slapping on a modified guillotine/anaconda choke and earning the stoppage! Wow! I'm glad to be 1-1 thus far!
Clay Guida v. Rafael dos Anjos - Guida via submission in Rd. 3. That was awkward. I had it a round apiece heading into Rd. 3. Guida was in side control with head and arm control with no obvious submission in place and dos Anjos tapped out. After the fight, it's clear that dos Anjos had a significant jaw injury, probably a broken jaw, and the pressure on his jaw proved too much.
Jon Fitch v. Thiago Alves - Fitch via unanimous decision, 30-27, 30-27, 30-27. Earlier, I mentioned that, "Fitch is a great wrestler and grinds, grinds, grinds out wins by working harder and controlling his opponents with suffocating ground control." That was the whole story in this one. Fitch repeatedly took Alves down and controlled him on the mat. It wasn't pretty, but it was dominant. And I move to 1-3 on the night. Ouch. Let's make it 1-4: Go Chael!
Anderson Silva (c) v. Chael Sonnen - Silva via submission in Rd. 5.

My fucking God. I have never, ever been so disappointed to be right. Sonnen beat the shit out of Silva for 4 rounds and 3 plus minutes before getting caught in a triangle choke. It didn't exactly come out of nowhere, but it was certainly not expected after the beatdown Sonnen placed on Silva for the duration of the fight. Recall that I mentioned in my prediction that, "Sonnen has been submitted from top control on a few occasions." Make that a few occasions plus one.

I am so fucking disappointed, but Sonnen actually made Anderson fight and beat Silva at his own game, held him down and pounded on him until the championship-saving choke.

This result sucks so fucking bad.

2-3 tonight, but I would have gladly gone 1-4.

Goddamnit.

Brownies

2010-08-01T19:45:00.006-04:00

The unemployment rate stands at 9.6% nationally, but never fear!, the US Senate is on top of things. FTFA:

Last night the United States Senate voted to double the penalties for the nation’s newest existential threat: brownies made with marijuana!

The Senate unanimously passed Dianne Feinstein (D-CA)’s “Saving Kids from Dangerous Drugs Act of 2009″ (S. 258) that targets pot brownies and other marijuana edibles preferred by some medical marijuana patients. The bill next moves to the House; if it passes that chamber, anyone making pot brownies or similar products could be subject to double the fines and jail time for regular marijuana.

This bill’s passage marks a step backwards for Congress, which this week also passed the Fair Sentencing Act that reduced the sentencing disparities between cocaine and crack from 100:1 to 18:1. Now we have a new disparity: pot brownies and other marijuana edibles are now treated as something twice as bad as just distributing marijuana.

Save the children, lose rationality. Nanny state government FTW!

Sigh.

Israel

2010-07-25T16:00:00.010-04:00

This article contains a disturbing news item coming out of Israel. Now, Israel is an important ally of the United States, and rightly so. I spend a lot of time defending the country's international policies and wondering why our fearless leader, Captain Kickass, doesn't seem to value the country's friendship as much as any American president should.

But this story is some bullshit and one can only hope the Israeli Supreme Court rectifies the problems set forth by Jerusalem district court's horrible decision.

FTFA:

A Palestinian man has been convicted of rape after having consensual sex with a woman who had believed him to be a fellow Jew.

Sabbar Kashur, 30, was sentenced to 18 months in prison on Monday after the court ruled that he was guilty of rape by deception. According to the complaint filed by the woman with the Jerusalem district court, the two met in downtown Jerusalem in September 2008 where Kashur, an Arab from East Jerusalem, introduced himself as a Jewish bachelor seeking a serious relationship. The two then had consensual sex in a nearby building before Kashur left.

When she later found out that he was not Jewish but an Arab, she filed a criminal complaint for rape and indecent assault.

Although Kashur was initially charged with rape and indecent assault, this was changed to a charge of rape by deception as part of a plea bargain arrangement.

Handing down the verdict, Tzvi Segal, one of three judges on the case, acknowledged that sex had been consensual but said that although not "a classical rape by force," the woman would not have consented if she had not believed Kashur was Jewish.

The sex therefore was obtained under false pretences, the judges said. "If she hadn't thought the accused was a Jewish bachelor interested in a serious romantic relationship, she would not have cooperated," they added.

The court ruled that Kashur should receive a jail term and rejected the option of a six-month community service order. He was said to be seeking to appeal.

Segal said: "The court is obliged to protect the public interest from sophisticated, smooth-tongued criminals who can deceive innocent victims at an unbearable price – the sanctity of their bodies and souls. When the very basis of trust between human beings drops, especially when the matters at hand are so intimate, sensitive and fateful, the court is required to stand firmly at the side of the victims – actual and potential – to protect their wellbeing. Otherwise, they will be used, manipulated and misled, while paying only a tolerable and symbolic price."

What a bunch of bullshit, especially that last paragraph. Think what you will about the moral status of someone that would lie about being a Jew when he is an Arab in order to get into some woman's pants. With the heightened tension between the two religions, and the fact that many Muslims (but presumably not this one) wish death to all Jews and to Israel itself, one can at least understand why a Jewish woman would be upset at having been deceived in such a manner, but to imprison or even charge this man criminally is beyond ridiculous.

Judge Segal points out that the Jewish woman "would not have consented if she had not believed Kashur was Jewish."

Yeah, so?

If lying to someone else in order to sleep with him or her is now among the grounds for criminal liability in Israel, I fear the Israeli courts will soon be flooded with dozens upon dozens of rape cases every Monday morning.

I'm not going to make hay out of the fact that this woman slept with a guy after just meeting him. It happens. But if you're willing to sleep with someone the day you meet him or her, you're obviously not as discriminating one might be. If you're willing to sleep with someone the day you meet them, you're not exactly in a position to exercise due diligence to verify whether everything he or she is telling you is accurate.

Here's a news flash: people (men and women alike) will stretch the truth, or even lie, to paint themselves in a better light if they think it will procure access into someone else's pants.

And it's not fucking criminal to do so.

Men and women lie to one another every night out at bars or when they initially start dating, etc.. The whole ritual is built upon a charade of accentuating your positive features and minimizing or hiding the negative ones.

And sometimes, sometimes, lies are told to achieve the goal - long or short term:

"Oh, no, I don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife."
"I'm a doctor/lawyer/astronaut."
"I love dogs!"
"You're the most beautiful woman in this bar."
"I'm not a stupid bitch; I'm totally nice/sane/friendly/cool."
"I love Fred Durst too!"
"I too voted for Barack Obama!"
"No, no, I'm not homeless."
"I showered today."

People lie about money, relationship status, whether or not they have kids, whether or not they want kids, whether or not they eat meat, etc., all to make themselves more attractive to the object of their desires at the time. And it's not criminal. Who gives a shit if she wouldn't have consented had she not thought he was Jewish?

Would she have consented had she thought he had a job but he really didn't?

Would she have consented had she thought he had served 7 years in the military but he really hadn't?

Would she have consented had she thought he didn't kill Natalie Holloway but he really had?

It doesn't fucking matter. These types of lies about what you've done, who you are or what your past experiences are should not form the basis for criminalizing conduct just because someone else wouldn't have made the same decisions had you been truthful with them.

That's not to say no lie could qualify. Here's an example off the top of my head: One of a set of twins lies to the spouse of the other, claiming to be the other twin, in order to gain consent.

That'd be rape.

Or not even as far-fetched. A man climbs into bed with a woman, perhaps she's drunk, perhaps she's not, perhaps it's just really dark and she's half asleep, and he pretends to be her husband/boyfriend, and gains consent through this type of deception.

Depending on the specific facts, that probably also would be rape.

These lies actually place the victim, for lack of a better term, in the position of "consenting" to something that she is not actually aware that she is consenting to. She is consenting to have sex with her spouse/boyfriend but is actually having sex with someone else via the deception.

But to lie about your religion? That's just too much. The person lying is still the same person the woman is consenting to have sex with. He's just not exactly who she thinks he is, but he's not another person.

I fear the actual rationalization performed by the court is not so much the fact that he lied to her, but the subject matter of the lie. If the lie had been about almost anything but his religion, I'm willing to bet the outcome would have been different - and that's exactly why the Israeli Supreme Court should overturn this horrible decision unless it is reversed by some intervening court before they have the opportunity. But I'd be lying if I said I have ~~more than a passing familiarity with~~ any knowledge of the Israeli court system so I'm not sure how likely that is.

The article concludes on an important point:

Gideon Levy, a liberal Israeli commentator, was quoted as saying: "I would like to raise only one question with the judge. What if this guy had been a Jew who pretended to be a Muslim and had sex with a Muslim woman?
"Would he have been convicted of rape? The answer is: of course not."
Arabs constitute about 20% of Israel's population, but relationships between Jews and Arabs are rare. There are few mixed neighbourhoods or towns, and Arabs suffer routine discrimination.
Israeli MPs are considering a law requiring prospective Israeli citizens to declare loyalty to Israel as a "Jewish, democratic state". Many Arabs would balk at swearing allegiance to a state which they see as explicitly excluding or marginalising them.
Dan Meridor, a deputy prime minister in Binyamin Netanyahu's government, is opposed to the proposal. "Why does every bill need the word 'Jewish' in it – to show the Arab citizens that it doesn't belong to them? Then we're all shocked when they radicalise their stance.
"The majority doesn't need to remind the minority that it is in fact a minority all the time," he added.

That last line is priceless. And it's something our current administration could stand to learn as well. But in this context, where you have a not insignificant Arab population living legally in Israel, and you have many of the surrounding Arab states speaking, if not acting, in a hostile manner toward Israel, to provoke them with silly prosecutions like this one is inherently unwise.

THC

2010-07-19T23:04:00.005-04:00

Not that kind of THC, although that could be fun too.

I'm referring to this THC: the Texas Hippie Coalition.

Here's a taste:

That song is great.

The chick is hot.

The second highest rated comment is awesome: "that chick looks like she could suck a mean cock."

And that's about what I'd look like if I were the lead singer in a metal band.

Enjoy, chubies.

MILF2

2010-07-15T18:02:00.009-04:00

I was going to write a long diatribe about LeBron, Cleveland and The Betrayal, but I simply haven't had it in me recently to do it. If I ever get around to it, it will be a long, mean-spirited, bitchy post. In short, that guy can go to hell and he can go there very soon. Fuck you, LeBron.

On another note entirely, according to my statcounter, I've had a small explosion of hits the last few days. It all relates to this post from last October. I'll give you a second to read it if you haven't.

All caught up? Good.

Well, it appears that Aimee Sword was finally convicted and recently sentenced for banging her son. Yep, she banged her son after reconnecting with him many years after giving him up for adoption and for that, she's going to spend at least 9 years, and perhaps as many as 30, as a guest of the Michigan department of corrections. FTFA:

A Waterford mother will spend at least nine years in prison for having sex with the 14-year-old son she gave up for adoption when he was a few days old.

Aimee L. Sword, 36, apologized for her actions at her sentencing Monday in Oakland County Circuit Court, said her attorney Mitchell Ribitwer.

Judge Daniel O'Brien sentenced Sword to nine to 30 years in prison.

Sword received yearly updates and pictures from the boy's adoptive family in Grand Rapids, Ribitwer said. But when she didn't get a picture when the boy turned 14, she contacted him online through a social networking site. Ribitwer said the boy knew Sword was his mother.

"When she saw this boy, something just touched off in her -- and it wasn't a mother-son relationship, it was a boyfriend girlfriend relationship," said Ribitwer, who added that Sword said she was sexually and physically abused as a child. "Aimee's searching for a reason why this happened. She can't understand it. She's going to get some counseling."

Originally charged with four counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct, the former Macy's makeup counter clerk pleaded guilty to having sex with the boy once. Investigators said she had sex with the teen in a Grand Rapids hotel and also at homes in Waterford in 2008.

After the teen got into trouble in Grand Rapids, his adoptive mother -- not knowing about the relationship -- agreed to allow him to stay with Sword in Waterford. Married at the time, Sword shared her home with her husband and five other children, toddlers to late teens.

But after he returned to Grand Rapids, he talked about the incidents to a counselor, who reported them to police.

"It's the first time I've really seen something like that between a mother-son," Oakland County Prosecutor Jessica Cooper said Monday after the sentencing.

Ew. But still, what good is this story without some pic goodness of Ms. Sword? None. So, in that spirit:

and just for fun:

LeBron

2010-07-09T00:38:00.002-04:00

That disloyal, traitorous fuck. May both his ACLs tear in half and may every disc in his back herniate. Fuck you, LeBron, you bastard piece of shit.

Stay

2010-07-05T17:46:00.003-04:00

234

2010-07-04T11:57:00.003-04:00

Happy 234th birthday, America!

And just for fun:

Other Fourth of July inspired posts:

Independence Day 2009

Happy Independence Day, motherchubies!